Chapter 30

Melissa heard the door click as Richie and Angela left. Their laughter grew fainter and Melissa and Jon were left in silence. Jon took her hand and finally spoke breaking the silence before it became awkward. “Can I play something for you?”

“Do you think you even have to ask,” Melissa said with a laugh.

“Don’t I always ask,” Jon said smiling, leading her over towards the piano.

“Oo, you’re gonna play the piano? I always thought that one of your sexiest performances was Bed of Roses from ‘An Evening with Bon Jovi.’ Seeing you move your fingers over the keys,” Melissa started, but stopped herself. “I am so sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” she said feeling her cheeks blush.

“I think I have an idea,” Jon said moving a wine glass from the edge of the piano.

“That probably had something to do with it. I’m not usually a big drinker,” Melissa said.

“I keep learning more and more about you. Now that I think of it I don’t think I’ve seen you drink more than one glass of wine, two tops. I think you exceeded that tonight,” Jon said sitting at the piano bench. “Here come sit with me,” he said patting the bench next to him.

“You do realize that this is a dream come true right,” Melissa said taking a seat.

“So no pressure, right,” Jon teased.

“Oh, please, if it’s better than my attempts, which you were lucky enough to miss, then I’m sold.”

“Well then,” Jon said as he let his fingers start to explore the keys. “I was in the studio the other day looking through some old stuff and I came across this song. I know it was released but I never really had anyone to sing it too, which is probably why I never played it live.”

Jon continued to play, as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the keys not looking at her. Melissa didn’t speak, not wanting to disrupt his thoughts. He had never really opened up to her like this. They had talked about everything, but there was something different in his demeanor tonight.

“I stopped writing love songs for my ex-wife some time around 2000. I know it sounds stupid because we had two more kids after that, but I never felt that urge to write a ballad for her. To show her how I loved her. I started to use this idea of a woman, a different one for each song, as I needed her. I had always hoped to meet the imaginary women that became my muses. When I found this song, I knew that I found her, and that woman is you. Melissa seven years before I met you, I wrote you a song, this song, and here I am to play it for you.”

He finally looked up, into her eyes. She saw him trying to fight back tears, but there was no sadness there rather hope. It was like looking deep within him and Melissa couldn’t believe how far into him she was finally getting a glimpse of. He stopped playing as his fingers found the right keys he began to play. When he started to sing it took Melissa a minute to place the song.

“I saw you coming from a mile away,
Trying to hide behind that pretty face.
Bet my last dollar baby you've been bruised,
Poor little heart, all black and blue.
Last thing you needs another pick-up line,
You must have heard them all a thousand times.
God only knows what you've been through,
Believe me I've been broken too.

It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away.
I've been around that block a time or two.
Baby, I don't wanna fall in love with you
I try, try, try, But I can't get around the truth.
Please don't say my name, give this heart a break,
I don't wanna make the same mistakes.
It's too late, I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night.”

Melissa had never listened closely to the lyrics to this song, but as she listened to the words, she saw the eerie parallels.

” I got your taste in the back of my mouth,
I wanna reach in and pull it out.
And I'd be lying if I didn't say,
When you're this close, I'm afraid.
The way I feel if I touch your hand,
The way I miss you when you're not there.
At night when I see you when I close my eyes,
It's too late, I crossed that line.

And it aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away.
But I'll still be around come closing time.
I don't wanna fall in love with you
I try, try, try, but I can't get around the truth.
Please don't say my name, give this heart a break,
I don't wanna make the same mistakes.
But it's too late, I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night.”

If Melissa didn’t have the cd that the song was on she couldn’t believe that he had indeed written this song so long ago. Right here in this moment, Melissa believed that this song was written with her and only her in mind.

”It's two A.M. It's last call baby.
The barkeeps gone, I'll walk you home now.
Baby, I don't wanna fall in love with you
I try, try, try, but I can't get around the truth.
Please don't make me beg, give this heart a break,
Please don't make me make the same mistakes.
But it's too late, I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night.”

As he finished the last measures of music, she felt a tear slide down her cheek. “That was beautiful,” she said in a whisper, “thank you.”

“I meant what I said. I know that you’ve been hurt, but I want to be here for you because I care about you. I care about you in a way that scares me because I never thought that a woman could make me happy again the way that you do. And I know I haven’t been perfect, I’ve made some mistakes and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna do the same thing twice,” Jon said turning to look her square in the eye.

Melissa was at a loss for words, as there were no words that could possibly describe what that meant to her. She did the only thing she could think of doing and leaned over and kissed him, wanting him to hold her, to touch her. Melissa reached back to brace herself but found the keys of the piano, which gave them a startled jolt.

“Come on, lets get off of here, before we start making too much noise and we get ourselves kicked outta here,” Jon said taking her hand.

“Like anyone’s gonna kick you outta anywhere,” Melissa said smiling and following him over to the couches.

“I’m not as invincible as you may think. For example, the die hard Giant’s fans don’t want to hear me blabbing about what I think, or the new cd, when they interview me at halftime. I guess I should be lucky that they don’t boo me off,” he said laughing as he sat on one of the couches and pulled her close.

“Will you talk to me,” Melissa asked softly.

“What do you think I’m doing,” he said. “Or am I just babbling like a fool?”

“No I mean, about you. You know a lot about me, but I don’t know about you. I mean I do, but not the important stuff,” Melissa said trying to read him.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Was there something specific you wanted to know,” he asked her.

“I may be outta line, but will you tell me why you got divorced. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but Steph said something before, and what you said just now. It kinda leaves me curious.”

“What did she say,” Jon asked hesitantly. He knew his daughter had a lot of hostility for her mother, but never thought that she would dish that out to someone who was a virtual stranger to her.

“I told her I wouldn’t mention it, and I wouldn’t have if you didn’t say anything. But she left me with the impression that you were hurt by her.”

“I was hurt by her, but I’m not putting all the blame on her. From 2000 on we kinda started falling out of love. Neither one of us wanted to admit it, because we had been together so long. I think we were afraid of what would happen if we didn’t have each other. We went through all the motions, pretending that everything was ok. I mean we had two kids in that time; we were both in such denial. I think when we found out she was pregnant with Ro, we both knew in our hearts it was over. We did talk about it, but she didn’t want to hear it, because we had to try for the kids. I was skeptical of that from the start, how much is it helping the kids to be around parents who when they were around each other the tension could be cut with a knife. I don’t think the little ones could tell, but the older ones knew something was wrong.”

Jon had never talked to anyone aside from Richie like this before, but it felt liberating to let someone else in, to share his pain. He felt her soft hand on his cheek wipe away a tear that he was unaware he shed. How the hell did she bear her soul to me so soon after we met, he thought. He looked at her, and her eyes encouraged him to continue.

“It was shortly after Ro was born that I seriously thought that it was better for everyone involved that we divorce. I kept it to myself, the last thing I wanted to do was burden the mother of my children with one more thing, right before I left for a tour. I could see a change in her too, especially the time I spent at home. Later I learned that she was seeing someone else during that time. About halfway through the tour she told me that she wanted a divorce, and I agreed that it was the best thing to do, but we agreed to stay together until after the holidays. I did a lot of work here in Philly during that time; this place became a second home to me.

“It probably wasn’t until she filed that I saw a change in her behavior. She couldn’t allow herself to think that she could be to blame for us, so she blamed me. It was easy for her to do, there were so many ways to do it. I was never home, I didn’t see the kids enough, I neglected our time together. I think she was so hurt that she truly believed it, which I think hurt me the most. I never meant to hurt her, I loved her. The ironic thing may have been that she assumed that I cheated on her every chance I got when things were rough at home, but I never did. In my mind I always hoped that there was a chance of us fixing what we once had, and I wasn’t gonna do anything to screw that up. She assumed this, which gave her I dunno, permission, to cheat on me. I think deep down she needed to feel wanted again, and it broke my heart that I could be that for her anymore.

“After that she turned pretty resentful towards me. It was like she had this image of what happened that left her as the victim, and she clung to it as truth. That hurt, because while we could’ve been grieving together for what we were losing, she was hating me. I was away doing press for Lost Highway, she moved the kids out of the house. I came home one night after a 14-hour flight from Japan, not wanting to do anything but see my kids. Instead I found the house empty and a note waiting for me in the foyer. Talk about hitting a man when he’s down. The last year and a half has been pretty rough since then.”

The wine he had drank earlier clouded his judgment just enough to make him more honest than he ordinarily would have been with her. “I’ve been pretty miserable to be around, especially this last tour. The guys understood what I was going through, hell now we’ve all been through it. They gave me a little bit of leniency, but never let me lose myself too far. For that I will always be thankful. I never thought that I would find anyone that I would want to share my life with, until I met you. I dated women, but only as a favor to this person or another, or to keep the guys off my back. No one made me feel happy or comfortable, and I had accepted the fact that I would end up alone. I was gonna be that rock star who had the kids he saw every other weekend, and was never with anyone long enough for the media to learn her name. I had even accepted the fact that I may turn back into the ‘Jon of the 80’s’ on the next tour, to hell with everyone, just doing what ever I wanted, no looking back.

“That’s when I met you and my whole world changed. You made me feel like someone that deserved to be happy again. I saw the pain in you and I wanted to show you how wonderful you are and how you should have anything you want. That’s when I realized that I wanted the same thing for myself, and you helped me get there. I know I’m not perfect, but you’ve got me heading on the right path. I know that you are the reason for the changes I can see inside myself, because you are showing me the kind of selfless and pure love that I didn’t think I would ever get again. And the guys see it in me; they already started telling me not to let you get away. You are allowing me to feel comfortable with you, like I’ve known you my whole life. You are making me want to be a better man.”

He stopped talking and looked at her, but he couldn’t read her eyes. “I’m sorry, that may have come out a little strong. I haven’t told anyone that before right now, because I was afraid to admit that I was falling for you, hard. I know we’re taking things slow and I don’t want that to change, but I can’t help but be honest about how I feel. Please say something,” he said gently.

“I’m sorry that’s a lot to take in. I am so sorry that you were hurt so bad; I’ve been there too. And everything you said, I feel it too. You made a part of me come alive that had died so many years ago. I didn’t think it was possible for me to be happy again, but then you fell into my life,” she said letting her voice trail off.

Her emotions were taking over her; she didn’t know what to do or what to say. Nothing she said could compare to the pure confession he had just shared with her, she was just grateful that he trusted her enough to be honest. If only she could repay they privilege by coming clean to him.

“Look at me, I’m not going anywhere, I don’t need your words. What I said earlier, I’m gonna be whatever you need me to be for you, because you are the best thing to come into my life in a long time,” he said letting his voice trail off.

They sat with each other in silence for a minute, letting the words of the other sink in. Jon couldn’t wait any longer and needed to touch her, he need to feel her close to him. It had been so long since he felt this close to someone that he didn’t want to let her go. He reached over and brushed a stray hair from her face, and she smiled at him covering his hand with her own. He used his other hand to take her face in her hands, and kissed her. He couldn’t remember a kiss ever being so pure and meaningful to him.

Oblivious to what he was doing, he laid her back against the couch and continued to kiss her, running his hands through her hair. With passion now alive in him he hardly felt her pull away but continued kissing down her neck, until she whispered his name in his ear. He stopped to look into her eyes, hoping to see the same look that he was sure was in his. Her eyes had a look of desire, hindered by something else.

“Mel, what’s the matter,” Jon asked concernedly, the last thing he wanted was to push her too far; he didn’t want to lose her. He leaned back on the couch, allowing her sit up.

“Nothing this has been perfect. I don’t think I could have asked for a better night. I just think maybe it would be best if we,” Melissa paused trying to choose her words carefully. She didn’t want him to think that she was uncomfortable with him and with what he had shared with her.

“Called it a night? My dear, you know what’s best for me don’t you? I’ve gotta work tomorrow, I can’t be up all night with you and falling asleep tomorrow night, now can I,” Jon said as she shook her head. “Come on let me walk you back upstairs before we fall asleep right here.”

“Thank you,” Melissa said. “Let me just get my stuff,” she said looking around for her bag. She found it on the table and retrieved it. “I don’t want you to think that I didn’t appreciate what you said to me. I think it was the sweetest thing that someone could say. I truly do feel the same way.”

“I understand babe, you need you’re beauty sleep, and I need some sleep, don’t know if it does much to make me beautiful,” Jon teased. “Thank you for letting me share that with you, I’ve never been able to talk to anyone the way I just did with you.” Melissa smiled, knowing that words weren’t necessary. “Come on lets get upstairs.”

Jon led her to the elevators and to her room, not letting go of her hand. Just the touch of her hand in his was enough to fulfill his desire for her, his need to be with her. He stopped outside her door, “You got your key?”

“It should be in here somewhere,” Melissa said digging in her bag, until she located it. “Do me a favor and come in with me, to make sure that Angela made it back?”

“Of course,” Jon said taking any excuse to spend a little more time with her.

She opened the door and saw the tv on in the living room. She walked over to the couch and saw Angela and Richie passed out next to each other watching what were now cartoons. Melissa motioned for Jon to follow her over but to keep quiet.

Jon laughed when he saw the pair, “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t worry about it, just lemme get a picture. She wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t,” Melissa said looking for Angela’s purse.

After a few quick pictures Jon took the challenge of waking his incapacitated friend. He started rather gently shaking his shoulders but resorted to harder shoves and calling him when he didn’t stir. Melissa gave Angela a quick shake before she awoke with a start.

“Tommy not now, I’m tired. Let me go back to sleep,” she grumbled, her eyes still closed.

“Ang, it’s me, you’re gonna want to open your eyes,” Melissa said quietly.

“What,” Angela said slowly opening her eyes. She looked next to her to see Richie still passed out. “Oh my god, I’ve been sleeping with Richie Sambora. Mel you have to get a picture.”

“Already done, do you think I don’t know you that well,” Melissa asked.

Smiling Angela gave Richie a quick punch in the stomach, stirring him. “Wake up, you’ve gotta get outta my room. I’m a married woman Sambora!”

“How the hell did you do that,” Jon asked.

“Jon what are you doing here,” Richie asked trying to take in his surroundings.

“I’m taking you back to your room,” Jon answered.

“Well aren’t you a beautiful sight to wake up to,” Richie said turning to Angela.

“Come on, let’s go, it’s late,” Jon said pulling him to his feet.

“Fine, ruin all my fun. From what I can remember at this moment it has been a pleasure darling,” Richie said turning to Angela.

“Same here,” Angela said with a yawn, not moving from her seat on the couch, but giving him a playful kick in the ass, “but you’ve gotta go now.”

“Night, and thank you for tonight,” Melissa said walking them to the door.

“Same here,” Jon said smiling. He leaned down to give her a quick kiss, as he supported the weight of his friend.

“Oh how cute, you two kissin’ and shit. That reminds me of a song,” Richie started. “Johnny and Melissa sittin’ in a tree”

“Better get him back in his room before he wakes up the whole floor,” Melissa giggled. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Night,” came Jon’s response though Richie’s singing drowned it out.

Melissa shook her head and she watched Jon walk him down to his room. She locked the door after she shut it and walked back to Angela.

“I know you’re probably ready for bed, but I think I’m gonna do it,” Melissa said.

“Gonna do what,” Angela said through a yawn.

“I’m gonna tell him everything. He told me stuff tonight Ang, about his ex. I felt so connected to him; I know I can trust him. He came clean with me, now it’s my turn to do the same. After the show tomorrow, I’m really gonna do it,” Melissa said with a smile.

“If you’re sure sweetie, then I’m behind you 100%. But for now I think I need some sleep. I do want to hear all the details before I can give you my full and sober blessing,” Angela said rising.

“I know you do, but this is right Ang, it really is. I never thought I could feel the way I do when I’m with him. The part of me that died all those years ago is finally alive again, and its all thanks to him,” Melissa said beaming from ear to ear.

“Ok, Sweetie. I’ll talk to you in the morning,” Angela said giving her a quick hug, before entering her room.

I’m gonna do this, I really am. I owe this man my life for what he’s done for me. It’s about damn time I was honest with him, Melissa thought heading for her room.