Chapter 35

Richie shut the door behind them, and moved to the kitchenette. “Make yourself comfy, lemme just grab you a glass.”

Melissa sat down on the couch and put her cell phone on the coffee table and set her key next to it. She pulled her legs under herself, and held a pillow in front of her. Richie entered a minute later holding an empty glass and a bottle of wine. “Is red ok? I already had the bottle open, but I can get the white one if you prefer,” he said setting the glass down.

“Whatever you’re drinking’s fine,” Melissa answered and gratefully took the glass he offered her and took a sip.

Richie sat down next to her on the couch, but was careful to give her, her space. He watched her finish most of her glass before she finally spoke. “Why did you think I’d come see you,” she asked looking him square in the eye.

“Well, I kinda have a sense about these things. You can’t really blame Johnny; he was with the same woman basically all of his life. He knows what makes her tick, and what’s gonna irk her, well as best as he could. But I’ve been single longer than I was married, so I know women in general the way that Jon knew his ex. I don’t pretend to understand women fully, but I can see when they’re upset even if they’re trying to hide it, and I can see when he does something that would make most women nuts,” Richie said. “But now I think the real question is why are you here. Not that I mind, but you’ve gotta give me something to go on here. A mind reader I’m not.”

“I don’t even know where to start. Since we left the concert I’ve been talking to Angela, trying to figure things out, but there’s nothing different in my mind now than what was there a couple hours ago. I mean I don’t even know what I’m feeling, how can I even begin to understand what he’s feeling, right,” Melissa asked taking another sip of her wine.

“Darlin’ you’re gonna have to give me a little more than that,” Richie said smiling.

“I know, I’m not even making any sense am I,” Melissa asked and reluctantly Richie shook his head. “You’ve been such a good friend to Jon all these years and you know how his brain works, that’s why I came to talk to you. To see what the hell he’s thinking without,” Melissa let her voice trail off.

“Without actually asking him, because you don’t want him to feel pressured into saying something he may not mean, or guilty for asking him certain things,” Richie offered.

Melissa nodded. “And you’ve been a good friend to me and Angela both, especially leading up to this trip. You really helped set my mind at ease. But I have to ask you a favor.”

“Shoot,” Richie said refilling her glass.

“Well, normally I would never ask you this, but I need to this one time. I know you’re Jon’s friend first and foremost. But can I ask that whatever comes out of my mouth tonight stays between us. I hate asking you to keep secrets from him, but just for my peace of mind.”

“Absolutely. What happens in this room stays in this room. I don’t tell Jon everything anyway, he just doesn’t know it,” Richie said smiling.

“Thanks, I really appreciate that. I guess I should start at the beginning, huh,” Melissa asked.

“Well that depends, do you mean like Adam and Eve. Or whatever ridiculously recent year you were born, or this morning,” Richie said trying to get her to smile.

Melissa laughed. “Somewhere between the last two. When I was younger I had my heart broken twice, pretty close together. After that I never thought that I’d be able to find love again, or be able to share my life with anyone and I was ok with that. I really was. But I’ll tell you that all changed when I met Jon. I tried so hard to do what I always do, put a wall up and eventually things fall apart but I never really let my guard down, so I couldn’t get hurt. I think I had my guard up for about the first week I knew Jon but then it just started crumbling down. And it scared the crap out of me. I found myself letting him into a part of my life that I didn’t know I had. Early on Angela even warned me that I was getting involved really fast. She told me to be careful because I didn’t know how he felt which is equally important with how I felt. But then we talked, kinda, and it seemed like we were on the same page. But then with everything that’s happened this weekend. God, Richie, I just don’t know anymore.”

“Look, I can tell you what I know. I know that he’s crazy about you. I know that you’ve been very good for him. He had a rough year and only after he met you, did any of us see him happy again. But I do know that he’s a little out of touch on the whole dating and relationship thing. I hate making excuses for him, but he really can’t help it because he has no experience. He knows how to have a wife, but dating, and getting to know each other. It’s more than a bit out of his comfort zone. Keep that in mind before you judge him too harshly. I’ve got the background, but tell me more. Start with ‘everything that’s happened this weekend,’” Richie said.

“Well, last night was amazing. It was so great to meet all of his friends, the rest of the band, and kinda get a feel of what he’s like when he’s around family. It was wonderful seeing a different side of him. And then after everyone went upstairs we stayed downstairs and talked for over an hour. He sang to me, it was perfect. The song was just right for me, for us and he told me that it seemed like he wrote it for me. I mean could there be anything more romantic that having a song written for you,” Melissa said remembering their special time together.

Richie winced at her words, but bit his tongue. She nodded at him in understanding and continued. “After that he told me about the divorce, and how badly he had been hurt. My heart nearly broke for him; I could feel his pain as he was talking. I really thought it was a breakthrough, ya know. Like the connection that we had was officially deep. He poured his heart to me. I thought we were on the same page.”

“Melissa, I think-“ Richie started, but stopped when she squeezed his hand.

“Just let me get this out, please,” Melissa asked.

“Of course, go ahead,” Richie said offering her a smile.

Melissa took a deep breath and poured herself another glass of wine before she continued. “So I went to bed thinking that we had this deep connection. That he was my boyfriend, that he was mine. And of course that I was his. Not that I’m neglecting Steph and the other people in our lives. Does that make sense?” Richie nodded as she took another sip of her wine.

“So this morning I wake up, and I told Angela everything that happened last night, and I’m like on another planet. I’m falling so hard and fast for him, but I feel comfortable with him, that it’s ok. Then his ex called and she was so nasty-“

Melissa was interrupted with an involuntary, “Don’t I know it,” from Richie, which made her laugh. He apologized and urged her to continue.

“Anyway she called and all of the feelings that I had so fresh in my mind took over. This was after all the woman who hurt someone that I truly care about. And she thinks she could start giving me orders, I think not. I’m telling you, I don’t even know where that came from. I promise I’m not jealous usually. I mean I see women hanging all over him and I could care less, but Dorothea really got to me. And Jon was fantastic; he didn’t seem to mind at all. If anything he seemed quite humored by everything, as did all of you,” Melissa said smiling.

“See that’s when we knew you were a keeper. Beautiful, independent, feisty, fearless, what’s not to love,” Richie said.

Melissa blushed a little, but continued. “He was so careful to make sure that me and Ang were protected and taken care of. He had me on his arm throughout the luncheon, introducing me as his girlfriend. When he does stuff like that he makes me go stupid, I feel like I’m 15 years old all over again. Not that I always mind, those were good times, but it can be a little embarrassing being in that mindset all the time as a woman who’s almost 30, kinda.”

“Kinda almost 30? God do I feel old that makes me kinda almost 50. That sounds so old. I’m almost half a century. But ok back to you, lemme I’m recap. Jon woos you stupid, does all the right things but then he turns into an ass,” Richie said still shaking his head at the almost 50 realization.

“Those are your words, not mine. So we’re at the concert, and you guys are killing it, like I can’t remember the last time I was at a concert that had that feel to it. And he sang, Welcome, and I felt it was for me. And then he danced with me, do you know how long I’ve been dreaming of that. And he told me that it was for me, and I was on top of the friggin’ world. The dedication he made to Lindsay was beautiful, we called the hospital after the show and she was beyond elated. But then that’s where he took a funny turn. I don’t know what it was that bugged me more. Before It’s my Life he made a dedication, remember. And I know that for me, because that’s my song,” Melissa said taking a breath before she continued.

“It was for you, we’ve heard all about how much you love that song. He must’ve mentioned it like half a dozen times back stage,” Richie said hoping to encourage her.

“But he said he was dedicating it to a ‘friend’. This probably sounds so juvenile. But it kinda hurt. After everything, I’m just his friend. I felt like I’m good enough for his friends to know about, but not everyone. I mean I didn’t think all this then, but looking at it now. Richie, his FRIEND,” Melissa felt her usually even temper start to rise, as a tear slid down her face.

Richie looked at the upset woman and chose his words carefully before he continued. “This may not be what you want to hear, but I can kinda see why he did that. I probably would’ve done the same thing. Now hear me out. The two of you have been in public together, right. But you’ve never really been in public together. No one knows the two of you are dating, because they haven’t been given a reason to think so. Mainly because Jon likes to keep his private life private. If he had said girlfriend in the middle of a concert all hell would’ve broken loose. I know the word doesn’t mean to us as it usually does to women, but it just wasn’t the place and situation to drop that bomb. You’ll know when it happens; enjoy it before they start hounding you. I do think that it was stupid for him not to give you a heads up there.”

“I understand. I mean it’s just a word, but it feels like I’m disposable to him in certain situations, I don’t know. Maybe I just need sleep,” Melissa said. Richie was right; it would’ve been out of place if he suddenly slipped in that he was dating someone. If she had been there strictly as a fan she would’ve been on her phone frantically trying to get all the details from someone with a computer instead of enjoying the rest of the show.

“There’s something else that’s bothering you. Maybe something that happened right before the encore,” Richie offered.

“This is gonna sound stupid, but until he started to play, I thought he was talking about me and he was gonna play my song from last night. It was stupid because of course it was his daughter. It was just that with the friend thing, it all exploded in my head at once. But for a half a second I was actually jealous of her, it sounds horrible I know. For me it was like I finally let my guard down for him and the way I went to bat for him with his ex. I don’t know I guess I kinda expected too much from him. Like he sees us as something other than how I see us.”

“He did have some choice words in that spiel he gave, but I’m sure he made it clear that his kids come first,” Richie started.

“He did, and I understand that. I admire that in him.”

“But I think that he needed to do that for her for his own psyche. And what she did for him, it was more therapeutic to him than I think he realized. He’s been struggling with their relationship, if he was doing the right thing. Letting her move in with him, starting a new relationship before he figured things out with her, and a million little things that he’s been dealing with as a parent. I think he just needed to tell her how much he loved her, and I know he really needed to hear what she had to say. But that’s not saying that there’s not a place in his life for you. I think you two are on the same page in your heads, but you just have to talk it out. I’ve heard both sides here, and I think you’re gonna be just fine.”

“Yeah? And you don’t think I’m a horrible person,” Melissa asked.

“Absolutely not, I haven’t changed my opinion of you from the first time we met. And just to put a bow on the night for you, the after party thing. I could see it bothered you, but that’s exactly how Dorothea would’ve expected and wanted to be treated. Disconnected from him, and left to herself. It was instinct for him, in no way was he trying to hide you or was he ashamed of you if that’s what you were thinking. And he was stupid-infatuated with Steph.”

Melissa let what he said sink in. “If you were me, what would you do,” she asked.

“Well, I would get some sleep before I talked to him. But you two need to talk, you need to set some ground rules. Like the girlfriend thing, and how you want him to act in public. Like leave you out of the spotlight or not,” Richie offered deciding it may not be the best time for a joke about what he would really say if he and Jon were dating.

“God you really do know women don’t you. I really appreciate this,” Melissa said looking at the clock that now read nearly 3 o’clock. “I think I’ve taken up enough of your time, and its really late.”

“It was a pleasure. I wish you could’ve come and visited me under happier circumstances; my door is always open for you. But I can’t in good conscience let you go, unless I know you’re gonna be ok, and you’ve completely said you’re peace,” Richie said seeing something still hidden in her eyes.

“What do you mean,” Melissa asked.

“There’s something else, I can see it. You don’t have to tell me, but I’m here if you need someone to listen,” Richie said his genuine eyes piercing her own.

At a loss for words Melissa just stared at him. “There was something else, I was planning on talking to Jon after the show about something else, but I just didn’t get the chance because I was upset about all this, and it was the last thing on my mind.”

“If it’s for Johnny’s ears only, that I wont ask for another word. Except its kinda looking like you need a practice run or something,” Richie said seeing the uncertainty in her eyes.

“I dunno,” Melissa stated. In her head a hundred reasons flew by that told her to keep her mouth shut and talk to Jon. A hundred more reasons, aided by the half a bottle of wine she consumed, told her that it couldn’t hurt to tell him. “If I tell you I need you to swear to me that you will never tell a living soul. I’m serious Richie, not a soul. Not Jon or any of the guys, I need to be the one to talk to Jon myself,” she said her head still spinning with the decision at hand.

“I’m not about to force you into anything, but if you want to tell me I’m here to listen to you,” Richie said. “And if you tell me your secret’s safe with me.”

Melissa refilled her glass and took a deep breath. “You know you’re making this so damn hard because I don’t really have a lot of friends that I can talk to like this. What the hell, I’ll start from the beginning. It all started about 11 or 12 years ago now. I was a junior in high school.” Melissa started and leaned back into the couch to make herself more comfortable.

Richie sat and watched her speak. She seemed to be disconnecting with him and her surroundings with each word she spoke. He intently listened to her seeing the pain flood from her face and was replaced by relief as she spoke. I have to keep this from Jon, he thought as she continued to speak.