Chapter 50

A few hours, and a few glasses of wine, later Melissa found herself searching through Richie’s closet for something to wear. It seemed that over the years a number of Richie’s “lady friends” had left a wide variety of clothes. Even though they had all been cleaned, it still seemed a little weird for her to borrow any of them, though the though of another night in Jon’s too big pajamas wasn’t something she necessarily looked forward to. And the idea of getting into bed with him in any of Steph’s clothes was more than uncomfortable for all involved.

“Richie, I dunno, this is a little weird,” Melissa said staring at the clothes.

“Hey, what ever you want is fine, but I have a closet full of clothes that never get used,” he said.

“You know I think you could open a store. You’d make a fortune,” Melissa said taking a pair of cotton shorts and a tank from a shelf.

“You think,” he asked from the bed.

“Absolutely! Can I borrow these,” she asked holding up her latest findings.

“Not those shorts. That’s what I was planning to wear to bed tonight,” Richie teased.

“You can be such a smart ass you know that,” she said.

“I know,” he said smiling.

“Can I change in here quick,” she asked.

“What ever you’d like,” Richie said.

“Could you just,” Melissa gestured with her hand for him to turn around.

“Yes ma’am,” he said turning around. Melissa quickly changed out of her jeans and into the more comfortable clothes. “Are you better than you we’re before?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just know you were upset, and I’ve come to worry about you like my little sister,” Richie said.

“Whatever, I think I know how to make it all work now,” she said slipping the shirt over her head.

“Oh yeah?”

“You can turn around now, thanks,” she said.

“You said you figured it out,” he asked looking at her in her mismatched clothes.

“Yup, I can’t lose him again, so I came up with a plan,” she said.

“Care to share it,” he asked skeptically.

“Nope, not now. I should get to bed though before he falls asleep before I get back,” she said.

“Ok, you know I’m here anytime if you need me. I’ll warn you I sleep like a bear, but don’t let that stop you, just hit me harder,” he said smiling.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said.

“Night darlin’,” he said pulling her into a hug and giving her a kiss on the head.

“Night, Richie, I’ll see you in the morning,” she said before she left his room and wondered back to Jon.

She walked down the hall, saying goodnight to Steph on the way, before she reached his bedroom. She securely shut the door behind her and watched him sitting on the bench at the end of the bed.

“You’re right, you do look much better in women’s clothes than mine, that are too big for you,” he said.

“Told ya,” she said walking over to him. She stopped in front of him for a second before she straddled him.

“What are you doing, Mel,” Jon asked as she ran her hands through his hair.

“I’m just showing you how much I missed you, and how grateful I am to have found someone to love, and someone to love me back,” she whispered in his ear as she planted a row of kisses down his neck.

“Melissa,” he started.

“Shh, don’t say anything,” she said kissing his lips.

She pushed him back so he was leaning against the bed and deepened her kiss. She let her hands explore his chest down to his stomach. She slid her hands under his shirt and lifted it up and over his head before tossing it on the ground.

“Baby, what are you doing,” he asked quietly.

“Shh,” she said as she traced the outlines of his muscles with her fingers.

He let out a soft moan as he closed his eyes and she could feel him harden under her. She backed off of him as fear flashed in her eyes. She took a breath as her pulse quickened and climbed back on the bed.

“Come here,” she said kneeling in the middle. He did as she asked and sat in front of her. She took a breath as they locked eyes and her breathing quickened. “I want you to touch me.”

“What?”

“I want you to touch me. I want to feel your hands on me,” she said.

“You want me to lay my hands on you,” he said smiling at his own joke.

She didn’t answer, she took his hands in hers and put them on her shoulders. “Melissa, listen you don’t have to do this,” he said softly seeing the uneasiness in her eyes.

“Please,” she said barely above a whisper.

Jon slowly started moving his hands through her hair as she relaxed a little and closed her eyes. He moved a stray hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. He ran his fingers down the side of her face before they met at her mouth. She sat there, afraid to move, unsure what to do as her senses went into overdrive. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. And his touch. What was it about his touch? His fingers were so rough at the tips, musician’s hands for sure, but so gentle at the same time.

“Look at me, Baby, open your eyes,” Jon said.

She looked at him, his eyes bright and welcoming. Jon searched her eyes and face looking for an explanation. Instead he found the look of a terrified woman full of apprehension. “Mel, you don’t have to do this,” he said.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she said.

Part of Jon knew it was probably the wrong thing, the other part of him, the part of him that was a selfish man with needs, gave into her. He put his hand behind her head and pulled her into a kiss. He nibbled on her bottom lip as he kissed, causing her to moan into his mouth, fueling his fire.

He leaned her back into the bed as he pulled his lips away from hers. He moved to her ear sweeping down to her collarbone leaving a trail of nips and kisses. Melissa locked eyes with him taking his hand in hers. She moved it to where his last kiss still lingered on her skin. Slowly she moved his hand over her breast and she moved his fingers to cup it completely.

Jon looked at her, his eyes darker than she’d ever seen before; they hardly even looked blue. His eyes nearly begged for her permission.

“I trust you,” she said.

He flashed her a boyish grin and set to work caressing her breasts. He used his hands until her nipples hardened leaving her whimpering for more. Slowly Jon moved his mouth over her breast letting his mouth warm her, giving little nips through the material. She let out another low moan as her took her nipple in his mouth. He lapped and sucked at it leaving it swollen and her shirt soaked.

She stopped him before he moved to the other side and moved his hands down her stomach to the bottom of her shirt. She slid his hands under the shirt and left them there to discover on their own. He rubbed her stomach enjoying and savoring the warmth of her body. He took the bottom of the shirt in his hands. “May I,” he asked. She nodded and he slipped it over her head and threw it behind him.

Jon stopped and looked over her before her touched her. It had been so long since he had a woman, in his bed, like this. Never before had a woman looked so flawless in his life. He looked from one glorious peak to the other, almost at a loss of what to do.

He moved his hand up her stomach stopping first at her left breast. He saw her close her eyes as he felt her skin without a barrier between them. His hand kept the already swollen nipple hardened while his mouth ravaged the other. When that one was as swollen as the first Jon moved his way back to her mouth. He slipped his tongue into her mouth as he left his hand gently cupping her breast. She dug her fingers into his hair as she deepened the kiss further.

He let his hand lazily stray down her stomach and stopped at the band of her shorts. He slid his fingers under until he could feel the lace of her panties. He let out a guttural moan as he felt the heat pulsing from her core. As his fingers inched lower he felt her hands fall from his hair and her tongue leave his.

He opened his eyes slowly as he pulled back from their kiss. He saw her chest heaving with ragged breathing and noticed a tear slide from her closed eyes. He used his hand to wipe the tear away as he moved back. “Melissa,” he asked quietly controlling his animal-like impulses.

“I’m sorry,” she said letting another tear escape her still tightly closed eyes.

“It’s ok, I’m right here,” he said.

“I can’t do this, I’m so sorry. I wanted to let you,” she said as her voice trailed off.

“Open your eyes for me, please,” he asked softly.

She shook her head no. She was far too embarrassed and afraid of the look she would find on his face.

“Baby, this is your call 100%. I’m moving at your pace. I’m gonna give you a minute, are you gonna be ok if I leave you a minute,” he asked.

“Can you stay,” she asked sitting up and opening her eyes.

“Of course.”

“Will you just hold me,” she asked still avoiding his gaze.

“Come here,” he said pulling her close to him.

She let herself collapse against his chest, her breasts, still swollen and aroused, almost pained by his coarse fur. He held her in his arms for a few minutes stroking her hair. “You ok now,” he asked.

“I think so, I’m sorry,” she said pulling back. Feeling self-conscious of her body she crossed her arms over her chest continuing to evade his eyes.

Noticing her embarrassment he grabbed a throw blanked from behind him and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Don’t worry about that. Do you mind if I take a quick shower,” he asked. An ice cold shower.

“Go I’ll be fine,” she said as he kissed her head before leaving.

She sat in the middle of his bed, feeling lost and confused. A thousand emotions overcame her. Shame. Incompetence. Fear. Embarrassment. Anger. Frustration. Anxiety. Regret. You name it; it was going through her head. She saw a glass on the nightstand and threw it across the room in frustration unable to control her emotions. Fresh tears stained her face as the glass shattered against the wall. He heard the glass breaking but thought it was best to leave her to her thoughts. I’ll clean it up later, now I need a shower.

Melissa tightened the blanket around her trying to form cohesive thoughts. I’m not leaving. Not again. I just need space. Somewhere to clear my head. God was that a stupid thing to do. What the hell was I thinking? She left his room and walked down the hall, pacing in front of Richie’s room. She waited a few minutes before she finally decided to knock. She called his name, but when there was no answer she opened the door slightly.

“Richie,” she called again.

“Mel, is that you,” she heard a voice call.

“Yeah, it’s me, can I come in,” she asked.

“Come on in, I’ll be out in a sec,” he called. She stood in the middle of the room waiting for him to appear from the bathroom. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting, just keeping the pearly whites, well white,” he said smiling but stopped when he saw her. “Are you ok?”

“I did something stupid, really, really stupid,” she said trying to hold back tears, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

“Are you cold? Do you want me to turn the heat up,” he asked gesturing to the thermostat.

“No.”

“Do you wanna sit,” he asked moving towards the loveseat.

“Yeah, ok.”

“What happened? What’s got you so upset,” he asked.

“I know he said this morning that it wasn’t all about sex for him, he said all of the right words. I just couldn’t believe it though. And then he went out drinking with you, I hated knowing that I did that to him,” she said.

“Hey, the wine thing has you all upset? He likes wine, a lot. So he drank almost a whole bottle instead of half a bottle, big deal. These last two days have been hell on both of you. But nothing you did or said is turning him into an alcoholic by any means,” he said.

“Richie, I dunno.”

“What did you do, Melissa,” he asked.

“He wanted sex, so I tried to give it to him. I thought it would be easy. If I could just get him started, I could let him do what he needed,” she said.

“Melissa, that is so the wrong way to look at this. Sex is more than physical, I’m sure he told you that, and he’s right. And I never want to hear that you just let him use your body. You are so much better than that,” he said.

“I just wanted him to be happy. It doesn’t matter, I couldn’t do it anyway,” she said pulling the blanket tighter.

“What do you mean you couldn’t do it,” he asked gently.

“I just wanted him to do it, he got close but I couldn’t. I just reached a point where I couldn’t let him keep going,” she said wiping a tear away.

“So you two didn’t,” he asked trying to piece everything together.

“Not all the way.”

Richie chose his words carefully not wanting to embarrass her. “Did you finish what he started on your own?” She gave him a terrified look and shook her head no. “Did you think about it? It might calm you down a little. You’re adrenaline and endorphins are racing, if you ya know finish, it may make you feel better. Or not, its up to you. Just a suggestion.”

“That’s the furthest thing from my mind right now,” she said.

“Ok, don’t listen to me, it happens all the time. Before you go tomorrow you two need to talk. About what happened tonight, about sex, and boundaries. You two are so close to being on the same exact page you just need to talk it out. If you lose communication now you guys are gonna be in for a rough future together,” he said.

“Is he really?”

“Absolutely. Have I lied to you,” he asked.

“No.”

“Then why would I start now? He loves you and you love him. And you both just want the other to be happy. You’ve just gotta figure out how to do that. You guys will come up with something,” Richie said.

“Can I ask you something,” she said.

“Anything.”

“Why am I such an emotional mess? I swear I’ve never been like this in all my life,” she said.

Richie smiled. “That’s because you love him, and you’re letting him love you. You took down all those walls you’ve held up for so long. You let yourself feel for real, and there are very real emotions that come with that. You’ll get used to it, its not all bad.”

“What would I do without you?”

“You know I ask myself that all the time. I look at myself as an integral part of so many people’s lives. Without my infinite wisdom I think the world would be a little slower,” he teased.

“So I didn’t screw everything up,” she asked.

“Nope, just proves my point a little more. The two of you have got to talk, to each other not just me,” Richie said.

“Ok.”

“And don’t be afraid of him. He’ s just a man, nothing to get too excited about. It’ll probably be a little harder to talk to him then me, because you love him, but don’t let that stop you. Honesty is what’s gonna get you through this,” he said.

“This isn’t gonna be easy is it,” she asked.

“Some days will be easier than others, but true love takes some work. That just makes the rewards that much sweeter,” he answered.

“Thanks Richie, I should get back. He should be sleeping by now,” she said standing.

“Hold on a second, you want some new clothes too. Why don’t you go take a quick shower, get the sex off of you. A cold one should do the trick. I’ll bring some clothes in for you,” he offered.

“How do you always know what to do,” she asked.

“I know women, remember?”

“That you do,” she said as she went to the bathroom.

A cold shower helped calm her mind among other things, and she welcomed a fresh pair of clothes. Anything that he hadn’t touched. She dressed quickly and said goodnight to Richie again before walking back to Jon. Richie watched her from his doorway as she stopped for a minute outside Jon’s door to ensure that he was asleep before she finally entered.

He left the lamp on her side of the bed on for her and she noticed a note on her pillow. I’m sorry. I love you. Jon. She moved it to the nightstand as she turned out the light. She got into his bed and let herself lean back into his chest. The fears she had earlier seemed to drift away as she fell asleep in his arms.