Chapter 59

“Thank you,” she said as he stroked her hair.

“Talk to me, tell me what you’re feeling,” he encouraged.

“Its hard to explain. It’s a combination of a lot of things,” she said.

“I’ve got time. Do you wanna walk,” he asked.

“Yeah that’d be nice,” she said picking up Richie’s jacket as they headed down the beach, his arm tightly fixed on her waist. “Its hard to put into words what’s going on in my head. Of course I’m hurting for Lindsay, and when I see her family I remember exactly how I felt when I was going through the same thing. Every time I go to funerals I think of mom. Usually I just remember her, but today being down here, it was like overload for me. Stuff we did together thrown in my face on a day that memories of burying her are fresh in my mind. I’m sad all over again, and I’m hurt and mad. It’s a whirlwind of emotions.”

“I am so sorry you were going through that on your own today. Tell me about her, about those summers down here,” he said.

“Really, you want to hear all that,” she asked.

“Absolutely, unless you don’t want to talk about it,” he said not wanting to push too hard.

“I didn’t think you’d want to know,” she said.

“I want to know everything about you,” he said kissing her hair.

“Ok, well we came down here a couple years when I was a teenager. Michelle, me and mom. We would rent a house for like two weeks or something like that. Never on the beach, we didn’t have that kind of money. Mom was my best friend, she was always the first person I called when something good happened and we hung out more like friends or sisters then mother and daughter. Shell always did her own thing, so it was the two of us most of the time. We would lie out on the beach, and go down in the water. I remember one summer she taught me how to body surf. We would walk the boardwalk every night. Played all the games, ate all the typical food, rode the rides till we wanted to throw up. We would stay up late talking and playing board games and then get up the next morning and do it all again. Those were some of the best summers of my life,” she said.

“This is really killing you, being here, isn’t it,” he asked.

“It is, but you get used to it. Little things remind me of her, I just didn’t prepare myself for being here. If I did, I’d be better. I’ve been thinking about her a lot since yesterday, but not like this,” she said wiping a tear.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting,” he said.

“Thanks, but it’s nice to talk about it, helps all the memories come back, keeps ‘em fresh,” she said smiling a little.

“Anything else you want to talk about,” Jon asked taking advantage of her openness.

“I’m sorry about yesterday afternoon. I overreacted when Angela asked you if she could stay. I just don’t want her to do anything to push you away from me. I don’t want to do anything to push you away either. Now that I have you I’m just afraid of losing you,” she said softly.

“Like you did your mom,” he asked.

“Yeah, it was just bad timing with everything I think,” she said watching the waves crash against the sand.

“Hey, don’t worry about that. I’m not going anywhere for a long while. You have to stop thinking that you’re gonna drive me away. I love you Melissa,” he said sincerely.

“I love you too. You’ve had a hard day; I could see it in your eyes. Tell me what you’re thinking,” she asked.

“I was thinking about my kids. I know they all have their moments. Steph can be sassy as hell and give this attitude that makes my blood boil. And Jesse’s a handful, but you can blame it on his age I guess. Jake’s just as stubborn as me, he gets something in his head and there’s not changing his mind. And Meo, he can throw a nasty tantrum with the best of them. But at the end of the day, they’re my world and my life. I would die for any of them in a heartbeat. When Dorothea took them I thought my life as over, but looking at the Connors’ faces today. I can’t even imagine what they’re going through. Losing a child, is something that no parent should ever go through,” Jon said.

“Oh, Jon, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think of it like that for you,” she said stopping to look in his eyes.

“Hey, there’s a silver lining in it all. I’m gonna appreciate everything my kids give me now. Every last gray hair is something to cherish, and I’m definitely gonna start picking my battles. In the big picture all the little things don’t matter,” Jon said as she hugged him giving him the loving contact that he needed. “We should probably start walking back before they send a search party out for us. We’ve probably walked the better part of a mile anyway.”

“I didn’t realize we walked that far,” she said looking back in the direction they came from.

“Come on let’s go, Angel,” Jon said sliding his hand around hers leading them back to the house.

“What did you call me, Jon?”

“Huh?”

“You called me Angel,” she said confused.

Jon bit his bottom lip and his cheeks flushed as he started to walk. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, why did you call me that,” she asked smiling.

“Well, because you are my angel,” he said.

“Me? How,” she asked.

“Since the first time we went out, I knew you were going to have an impact on my life. That night when we were walking on the beach looking out into this same ocean, I knew you were gonna change my life, I didn’t know how. But then I started to see how you were doing it. I really believe that you are my angel, sent from God himself, to give me a second chance at love. Without you I don’t know if I would ever have let myself open up again,” he said the emotion in his voice evident.

“Jon, I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me,” Melissa asked.

“I dunno, I didn’t want you to think I was nuts and maybe I was a little embarrassed too,” he admitted.

“I love it, I think its sweet,” she said giving his hand a squeeze.

“Really? I guess that’s just how I’ve thought of you for so long that it slipped,” Jon said.

“I love it, I really do. Will you call me Angel,” she asked.

“You want me to?”

“Yes, I love what it means for both of us,” she answered.

“Then of course I will,” he said giving her a quick kiss. “But tell me something, now that you’ve found me out, do you have a name for me?”

Melissa’s cheeks turned red, “Kinda,” she answered.

“Come on now, you’ve gotta tell me. It’s only fair,” he teased.

“Blue eyes.”

“You’re not datin’ Sinatra here,” Jon said smiling.

“I know that. You wanna hear the story of should I just call you Frank,” she asked with a fake scowl.

“Nope tell away,” he said.

“The first thing I noticed about you when you stepped off the elevator were your eyes. They were this piercing blue. Even before I realized who you were, I saw those eyes. And I always believed that the eyes were the way to a person’s soul. That night in Philly that we stayed up late talking, the night before the show. I think that’s the night that I fell in love with you or I realized that I loved you. The way you poured year heart out was beautiful and your eyes were right there in the middle of it all. Your mouth may be able to lie but not your eyes; they’re a lie detector. So I think its safe to say that I love your eyes because they speak to me in a way,” she said.

“So Blue Eyes it is,” he said.

“Blue for short of course,” she said.

“Oh of course,” he said smiling.

“You know what? I think we make a good pair, Blue,” she said.

“I think so too, Angel,” he said as they arrived back at the house.