Chapter 61

Jon led Melissa back through the house back down to the river in silence. She held his hand and gave it a squeeze as they returned to the spot they had vacated just a short time later.

“Jon, are you ok? You’ve got this look in your eye,” Melissa asked as they sat down on the edge.

“There’s something I’ve got to talk to you about, and I just want you to hear me out,” he said turning to look at her square in the eyes.

“Jon, you’re scaring me,” she said as he took her hands in his.

“Promise me you’ll hear me out,” he asked.

“I promise, what is it,” she asked nervously.

“I think that maybe it would be a good idea if you talked to someone,” he stuttered.

“Someone? What are you talking about,” she asked confused.

“I mean a professional Melissa. Like a therapist or something,” he said waiting for her answer.

“Why would you say that Jon,” she asked in disbelief, tears rushing to her eyes.

“Look hear me out. I don’t think you need me to tell you what you’ve lived through, and I think it may be beneficial to you if you talked to someone about it,” he said.

“Is this because of this afternoon? With my mom? It was just a hard day that’s all, Jon, there’s nothing to worry about there,” she said as Jon could see her start to close off.

“I’m not doing this because I’m mad at you or anything, don’t look at me like that. This isn’t just because of this afternoon. I’ve thought about it for some time now. Well since this weekend,” he said.

“You do think there’s something wrong with me don’t you? You think I need help,” she said tears starting to fall.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. I just want to make sure that you’re ok,” he said as she stood up.

“I was ok long before I met you, I don’t need you trying to fix me. Why are you pushing this,” she asked.

He stood facing her, “Because I’m worried about you. I’m not trying to fix you.”

“Worried about me? Because I’m some weak little thing that needs a big strong man to protect her,” she shouted unable to believe the conversation they were having.

“I’m worried about you because I don’t think you know how bad things are,” he said.

“It’s my life, how could I not know what’s happening in it,” she snapped.

“Did you know that you have nightmares every night you just don’t remember them,” he asked gently.

“You’re lying. You just want me to go,” she said refusing to believe him.

“Why would I make that up? I do want you to go, but baby you need to see why you need it too,” he said reaching out for her.

“No! Don’t touch me. How could you do this to me? After everything I told you, you go and throw this at me,” she said giving him a hard shove to the chest hoping to send him in the river.

Jon caught himself taking a step back before he locked eyes with her. “I’m not trying to hurt you here.”

“You have a funny way of showing it. Is this a deal breaker, Jon? Because I don’t do well with ultimatums,” she said glaring back at him.

He took a deep breath before he continued. “Please just listen,” he pleaded.

“Fine,” she said not moving closer to him.

“This is not a deal breaker, but it would be hard for me to be with someone who was shown a problem with themselves but refused to try and fix it. I just want you to be happy and complete and not constantly haunted by your past,” he said.

“I’m not constantly-“

“Let me finish. I know I can’t go back and change what’s happened because if I could I would. But I hate seeing that you pay for what happened everyday whether you can see it yourself or not. Nightmares like the ones you have shouldn’t happen to you. Especially not everyday. I was so scared when I woke up and you were thrashing in your sleep, moaning out in pain. I didn’t know what to do to help you. I think if this could help then it’s worth a try. I understand what you went through and how that affects us, but the way that you close off so quick in bed, there should be a point between zero and sixty because I’m afraid that I’m just hurting you more. And the way you shut yourself off from other relationships, not just with men but with friends too, that’s not good. I couldn’t take it if something happened to you and I did nothing to prevent it. Even if you can’t see it, Angel, can’t you trust that maybe this is what you need,” he said as tears surfaced in his eyes.

Melissa looked at the man in front of her unable to believe the selfless declaration before her. “Blue, I don’t think I could take it if you started to cry right now.”

“You didn’t answer me, do you trust me enough to believe that you need this,” he asked again.

She looked at him unable to find the words to admit help. She walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck and he rested his forehead on hers. “I trust you,” she whispered as she felt his tears mix with hers.

He held her close not wanting to let her go. “You know I love you,” he said in her ear.

“I know.”

“I’m not doing this to hurt you or punish you, please believe that,” he said as she nodded. “I’m just making sure you know.”

“Will, will you help me?”

“Of course I will, whatever you need me to do. If you want me to go with you, or drive you, or sit there and hold you’re hand, that’s what I’m here for,” he said leaning down to kiss her.

“Thank you,” she said quietly as they held each other in the moonlight.