Sunday, March 29, 2009

Chapter 53

Jon was woken up sometime later as Melissa tossed and turned in bed next to him. He opened his eyes and looked around to find the time. 6:15, shit I’m not getting back to sleep today, Jon thought sitting up. He looked at Melissa next to him; her head was thrashing from side to side and her breathing was heavy. She let out a low moan as Jon ran his hand over her cheek to comfort her.

“Shh, it’s ok Melissa. I’m right here,” he said as she started to calm in her sleep. He stayed until she was sleeping peacefully again. Another nightmare? I thought this was something that only happened once in a while, he thought as he watched her.

A little before seven he kissed her on her forehead and snuck out of bed for a quick shower. He dressed in a well-worn pair of sweats and a tee shirt before he headed to for the hallway. Stopping by Steph’s room he saw that her bathroom door was already shut and set out in search of coffee. He followed the heavenly aroma to the kitchen where Amalia already started a pot and was working on breakfast.

“Morning, Amalia,” he said as he took out a mug.

“Morning, Mr. Jon,” she said smiling.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you,” he said taking a sip.

“That’s just because I cook for you,” she teased.

“And you do such a magnificent job,” he said smiling.

“What would you like for breakfast,” she asked as he took his usual seat at the island.

“I’ve got coffee so anything else you give me is a bonus,” he said.

“How about eggs and toast,” she offered.

“Sounds perfect,” he said.

“Mr. Jon may I ask you a personal question,” she asked as she set to work on the eggs.

“Of course,” he answered.

“Was that Melissa’s car that I saw in the driveway,” she asked.

“It was,” Jon said.

“Can I assume that she is once again a fixture in your life,” she asked.

“Once again?”

“Mr. Jon I have known you far too long for you to be able to keep a secret like that from me,” she said gently.

“And here I was thinking that no one knew. You knew and Matt knew, hell Steph even knew,” he said.

“That’s because we know you and we love you,” she said.

“Well to answer your question, yes she is back. For good this time I hope,” he said.

“Good, she made you very happy,” she said tending to a frying pan.

“She does make me happy. I didn’t think that-“

“Good morning Stephanie,” Amalia said interrupting him.

Jon turned to see his daughter lurking in the doorway. “Morning, Amalia. Morning, Dad,” she said. She was already dressed and her hair was done as she entered with her school bag over her shoulder.

“Morning sweetie,” Jon said giving her a kiss on the head as she sat down next to him.

“Breakfast smells delicious, I could smell it from the stairs,” she said.

“Thank you, it should be ready in a minute,” Amalia said.

“Steph, I don’t know if I’ll be back in time to pick you up from school today so I may have to have Amalia or Cara pick you up. Same for tomorrow,” Jon said.

“Why,” Steph asked.

“I’m going to a memorial service and funeral and I don’t know if I’ll be back in time,” he answered.

“Oh, ok. No biggie. I can just make plans to go home with someone if that’s easier,” she said.

“Which ever you want darlin’,” Jon said.

“Here is your breakfast,” Amalia said placing two plates in front of them and then refilling their mugs. They said their thanks before they dug in.

“Did Uncle Matt go home last night or did he stay here,” Steph asked.

“I have no idea, he and Richie were talking when me and Melissa went up to bed. He may have stayed because he had quite a bit to drink. Is his car still here, Amalia,” he asked.

“I think I saw the Tahoe in the driveway,” she said.

“Then he probably stayed. I’ll wake him when I go back upstairs,” Jon said.

“Morning, Miss Melissa,” Amalia said over their heads.

Jon turned to see Melissa walking across the kitchen. “Morning,” she called and headed straight for the coffee pot. “Amalia, please call me Melissa.”

“Yes, Melissa. May I get you something to eat,” she offered.

“No, thank you. I’ll just munch on some of Jon’s,” Melissa said walking over to where Jon and Steph were sitting.

“Says who,” Jon teased.

“Me,” she said taking a bite of his toast.

“I didn’t wake you did I,” he asked.

“Nope, I’m usually up by now anyway. Morning Steph,” Melissa said happily.

“Morning, Melissa,” Steph answered. She finished up her last couple of bites before she excused herself. “I’m gonna go see who I can go home with. I’ll be back in five minutes so we can leave.”

“Is it that late already,” Jon asked checking the clock.

“Yup, I’ll be right back,” she said already sending out text messages.

“I’ll leave you two. Let me know if there’s anything else I can get you,” Amalia said excusing herself from the kitchen.

“So how did you sleep last night,” Jon asked waiting to see how she would answer.

“I slept wonderfully. That bed of yours is amazing. I didn’t even feel you get up this morning,” she said brightly.

“You did,” he asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I,” she asked.

“I’m just making sure. Gotta get you to come back somehow,” he said.

“That bed will definitely do it,” she said giving him a kiss.

“Ok, Catherine said it was ok with her mom if I went home with her. You can pick me up from there whenever,” Steph said as they quickly separated. “Sorry, I should learn to knock.

“Don’t be silly, this is your house. Why are you going home with, Catherine, was it,” Melissa asked.

“Because I’m not sure if I’ll be back down here in time to get her from school,” Jon answered.

“It’s nbd, we’ve got a chem test tomorrow so we can study together,” Steph said.

“Words, Steph, words. Not everyone talks in letters,” Jon said.

“Most people under the age of 40 do,” Melissa teased.

“Yeah, Dad,” Steph said laughing.

Jon rolled his eyes as he check the clock. “Yeah, well you’re gonna be l-a-t-e if we don’t go now,” he said.

“That was a nice try but it wasn’t funny,” Steph said grabbing her bag.

“She’s right it wasn’t funny,” Melissa whispered.

“Who’s side are you on anyway,” Jon pouted.

“With that line, hers,” Melissa teased.

“But, but, what do you call ‘em? Duck lips,” he said sporting his famous lips.

“It was that bad,” she said giving him a kiss.

“Dad, come on we’re gonna be late,” Steph said.

“Come on I’ll walk you and your bruised ego out,” Melissa said grabbing her coffee.

Steph was putting on her coat and tying her shoes when they reached the foyer. “Have a good day at school, Steph. I don’t know when I’ll see you,” Melissa said with a smile.

“Thanks, I’ll try. It is a Monday after all. It was nice having you around,” Steph said holding the door open staring at Jon.

“Go start it,” Jon said handing her his keys then turned to Melissa. “I’ll be back in about 15 minutes.”

”I’ll be waiting,” Melissa said.

“Hey, can you do me a huge favor,” Jon asked.

“Name it.”

“Can you go wake Matt up for me? He sleeps pretty light with a two year old and all, so it shouldn’t be hard. Tell him he needs to get his ass home or his wife’s gonna have both our heads,” Jon said.

“Absolutely,” Melissa said as the car beeped in the driveway. “Go, or she’ll be late. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“I owe you one,” Jon said giving her a quick kiss goodbye and shut the door behind him.

Melissa headed upstairs in search of Matt. She had never seen the entire upstairs and found many closets in her search of guestrooms. The room before Richie’s door was open a crack and she saw his familiar head sprawled out across the bed. She knocked on the door and he rolled over groggily.

“Give Daddy five more minutes, Bell,” he grumbled.

“Matt, it’s Melissa,” she said from the doorway.

“Hmm,” he said opening his eyes and sitting up. “Come on in, what’s the matter.”

Melissa walked over next to the bed stepping over the clothes on the floor. “Sorry to wake you but Jon asked me too. He had to drive Steph to school, but he wanted to make sure that you got up.”

“What time is it,” he asked registering his surroundings.

“A little after eight I think,” she said.

“Shit,” he said climbing out of bed and gathered his shirt and sweats from the floor. “Des is gonna kill me.”

“That’s what Jon said,” Melissa said.

“I should’ve been back a couple hours ago so I could be home when Isabella woke up and have breakfast with her. I don’t mean to run on ya, but I’ve gotta go,” he said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I understand,” she said almost humored by the time it took him to go from dead asleep to ready to drive.

“It was nice seeing you again, next week same time I hope for the game,” he said on his way towards the door.

“Ok, tell Desiree I said hi,” Melissa offered as she followed him as he made his way down the hall to the front door.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her. “I think I was supposed to tell you something to that degree, but now I can’t remember for the life of me. So she says the same.”

“Ok, have a nice day, Matt,” she said holding back a laugh.

“Yeah you too,” he called as he shut the front door behind him.

Across town Jon began his drive back home after dropping Steph at school and his mind was swirling with thoughts. Why did she say she slept fine? Was she lying? After everything why would she start lying about that? Was I imagining things? Am I making more out of this then I should be? I want to help her, but I don’t know if I can be the one to help her. I need to get her help, or show her that she needs to get help. Jon’s thoughts were interrupted as he pulled back into his driveway. I know what I need to do I just don’t know how I’m gonna do it. He walked into the house and found Melissa laughing with Richie at the kitchen counter. Just looking at her, seeing how happy she was, he knew that this was gonna be more difficult then he thought.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Chapter 52

A little after 6:30 that night, Jon, Melissa, Richie, Steph and Matt sat down to a couple of pizzas for dinner. They had a lively and casual conversation as Steph shared her stories of her afternoon with the group. They all laughed at the antics that were only seen in two-year-olds and attempted to look sympathetic as Steph shared how hard it was to feed Isabella and get her down for a nap. Once three empty pizza boxes and two empty bottles of wine littered the table Melissa excused herself to make a phone call.

Jon followed her to the far side of the kitchen away from prying ears. “Are you ok,” he asked.

“I’m fine, I just have to figure out the details for tomorrow and Tuesday before I forget. In theory it’s just a quick call to Angela to coordinate,” she said.

“Ok, you can go up in my office if you want. If you need the computer or anything its all there for you,” he offered.

“Thanks,” she said giving him a quick kiss before she left.

Richie had most of the dishes cleared when he turned back to the table. Matt came up behind him handing him his glass of wine from dinner. “You got a minute for your brother,” he asked.

“Rich you ok to finish in here,” Jon asked.

“Go ahead, just be back for kick off,” Richie answered.

“Where’d Steph go,” Jon asked.

“She said something about mypage or facespace, something like that. I’m too old to keep up with all that shit,” Richie answered.

“Facebook, Richie, it was Facebook,” Matt said.

“I was close enough,” Richie said.

“You got a minute then,” Matt asked.

“Yeah, ‘course. We’re going outside if you need us, Richie,” Jon said walking towards the kitchen slider.

They walked down the patio and sat in the semi-deserted furniture. Matt immediately grabbed a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. “Got one for me,” Jon asked and Matt handed him the pack and his lighter. Jon breathed in the familiar and comforting nicotine as he looked at the stars overhead. “What’s up Matt?”

“I’ve known you a long time,” Matt started.

“34 whole years,” Jon said.

“Long enough to know when something’s off,” Matt continued.

“What are you talking about,” Jon asked.

“Something’s been going on with you since Mom and Dad were here. I don’t know if it’s because of them, or Desiree being pregnant or Melissa or you needing to get back on the road or Steph. Whatever it is something’s been weird with you for a month, I just wanted to make sure you’re ok,” Matt said.

“Aww, you worried about me,” Jon teased.

“The way you’ve been acting,” Matt said.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Jon snapped.

“Look, with the year you’ve been having, there’s a bunch of things that could be bothering you, but you’ve been in rare form. Some people may not have noticed it but I know you. I just wanna make sure everything’s ok,” Matt said.

“You picked up on all that, huh,” Jon asked.

“That’s what you pay me for,” Matt teased.

“Is that what it is? Things are better, that’s all you need to know,” Jon said.

“Ok, I know better then to push it. I’m here if you need someone to talk to,” Matt offered.

“Melissa,” Jon said after a long pause.

“What about her,” Matt asked.

“It was Melissa, not Mom and dad, or Desiree or Steph or whatever else you said,” Jon said.

“Something good with her or something bad,” Matt asked.

“Both.”

“Come on, Jon, it’s me,” Matt said.

“We had a bit of a misunderstanding the week Mom and Dad were here, it had nothing to do with them. But we got everything straightened out this weekend. Its just a hard road sometimes,” Jon answered.

“Can I ask a question,” Matt asked.

“Go ahead.”

“Is she worth it? I mean I have nothing against her, but you’ve got a lot going on in your life right now. Steph and the boys, and a bunch of shit with Dorothea, and you’ll be heading back into the studio soon too I’m sure,” Matt said.

“I love her,” Jon said.

“Are you sure,” Matt asked.

“Positive,” Jon said smiling.

“That stupid smirk says it all,” Matt teased. “As long as you’re happy now.”

“As long as she’s here, I am,” Jon said.

“You know it feels like I know her from somewhere, she looks so familiar,” Matt said.

“You met her when Mom and Dad we here. How can you be so observant sometimes and so oblivious others,” Jon asked.

“That I remember, thanks for that vote of confidence. It just seems like I’ve seen her before, with a gorgeous little brunette,” Matt said.

“You probably have, that sounds like her best friend. Probably either at Elements or some fan club thing,” Jon said.

“She’s a fan,” Matt asked.

“Big time, but she hides it pretty well, huh,” Jon asked.

“She had me fooled,” Matt said.

“I think she said you even bought her drinks one time she met you,” Jon said. “Should I be jealous?”

“And I let her go? No you should probably hit me for being stupid,” Matt said laughing.

“Yeah I got lucky with her,” Jon said.

“It looks like you did,” Matt said.

“Things are gonna start to get crazy, as a heads up,” Jon said.

“What do you mean,” Matt asked.

“I haven’t told Dot that I’m dating anyone and the boys don’t know either,” Jon said.

“Why didn’t you tell them?”

“Because it’s none of her business and she’s already attacked Melissa when she thought she was just some woman. I don’t want to put Mel through all that just yet. And I wanted to make sure it was real with her before I involved the boys. But I want her to meet them, its not fair to her that I keep her separate from that part of my life,” Jon said.

“You’re really serious then huh,” Matt asked.

“Dead serious. I didn’t think I’d love after Dot. Not like this at least. This is the real deal, she’s gonna be around for a long while,” Jon said.

“I’m glad you found someone to make you happy. I’ve never seen you the way you were this last tour,” Matt said.

“You’ve gotta hit rock bottom before you can pull yourself out of it. I hope you never learn that first hand. But I’m in a good place now; she brings the best out in me. I’m not saying we’re perfect because we’ve both got baggage but we’re really good together,” Jon said.

“Baggage,” Matt asked suspiciously.

“Yeah, I’ve got four kids, an ex-wife, a crazy job. You should know, you’re my brother,” Jon said.

“I know all that stupid, but how much baggage can a relationship take before it collapses? That’s why I’m askin’, what’s she carrying around with her,” Matt asked.

“None of your business,” Jon snapped.

“Sorry I asked, you must really love her if you’re this defensive over her,” Matt said.

“I do really love her,” Jon said.

“My ears better be burning, or you’ve got some explaining to do Mr. Bongiovi,” Melissa said shutting the slider behind her.

“Just talking about you,” Jon said smiling as she walked over to them and sat at the end of his chair.

“Is he lying,” she asked turning to Matt.

“Would you pin one brother against another,” he asked.

“Absolutely,” she said as Jon pulled her in for a kiss.

“Where’s my kiss, sweetheart,” Matt asked getting a warning glare from his brother.

“I’m blaming that comment on the wine we all had at dinner,” Melissa said smiling. “Anyway pregame’s on, that’s why I came to find you.”

“Already,” Matt asked standing.

“It’s a quarter of,” she said.

“I’m gonna go catch the end of it,” he said.

“Go ahead we’ll be in, in a minute,” Jon said.

“Uh-hu,” Matt said heading for the house.

“Hey, Matt,” Jon called.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Jon said.

“Anytime,” Matt called as he entered the house.

“What was all that about, or do I not want to know,” she asked.

“Brother talk, you probably don’t wanna know. Nice jersey by the way,” he said looking at his Manning jersey.

“I consider it a sin to not wear a jersey while watching the game. I hope you don’t mind that I helped myself to your closet,” she said.

“Not at all,” Jon said.

“You know you’re really cute when you get possessive,” Melissa teased.

“What,” Jon asked.

“The look you gave Matt, priceless. You have a way of making a girl feel like a million bucks,” Melissa said.

“Thanks, I think. Did you got in touch with Angela,” Jon asked.

“Yup, the memorial service tomorrow is at her school around noon, and then Tuesday everything’s down the shore. They had a summer house there so that’s where the funeral is and the reception afterwards. You didn’t tell me that they asked you to sing,” Melissa said.

“Sorry, I must’ve forgotten. They asked me and I couldn’t say no, even if I wanted to, not that I do. We’ll leave around 11 tomorrow then? Or do we need to leave earlier so you can go home and change,” Jon asked.

“I almost forgot that I have nothing to wear. You’re so smart. Yeah, we’ll leave earlier I guess,” she said.

“Perfect, we’ll figure out when in the morning. We should get in there before they send a search party out for us,” he said.

“You just don’t wanna miss kickoff,” she teased.

“Neither do you,” he said as he stood and offered his hand.

“I know. Lets go,” she said letting him pull her up.

They walked into the house hand in hand and found the others waiting for them. Their mish-moshed group watched the game together as if they had done it every week for years. Cheers, high fives, and hugs were spread around as the Giants won. Steph excused herself shortly after the game was over because she had an early morning ahead of her. Jon and Melissa stayed a while longer talking with Richie and Matt before they too turned in for the night, and Melissa received a kiss from each as she said good night. It was all starting to feel routine and normal to her, finally.

Melissa stopped in Richie’s room on her way upstairs, even though there were very few clothes left that left anything to the imagination that she hadn’t already worn. She changed into a tank top before she left and rummaged through Jon’s drawers for a pair of bottoms before joining him in the bathroom. They brushed their teeth side by side before Jon left her so she could take of her other needs. When she returned to the bedroom she found him sitting on the end of the bed watching highlights from the game.

“Hey, babe,” he said flicking off the tv.

“You don’t have to turn it off for me,” she said.

“Old habits, I guess,” he said stowing the remote on the night table. “Ready for bed?”

“It’s been a long day,” she said as they pulled down the comforter then the sheets in perfect sync.

“Tomorrow I’ll be up early, but you can sleep as late as you want. Just let me know what time you need to be up by,” Jon said getting in bed.

“How early is early,” she asked sliding in bed next to him.

“I wake Steph up at seven. It’s usually I just make sure she’s up, on my way to start the coffee,” Jon said.

“Wow, I don’t miss those days. Just wake me if I’m not up by nine,” she said.

“You got it,” he said giving her a quick kiss.

“Is that all your girlfriend gets,” she teased.

“Not if that’s not all she wants,” he said smiling.

He leaned over her and kissed her deeply. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to her. They stayed like that a few minutes before he let his hand travel down her neck to her chest. His hand grazed over each breast before he pulled back from the kiss.

“You ok,” he asked.

“Yeah, and I’m sure,” she said pulling him back for more.

Jon continued working his hands over her breasts feeling her nipples pebble at his touch. She moaned into their kiss Jon continued his exploration. She ran her hands down his back and pulled at his shirt. He pulled away from the kiss as he pulled the shirt over his head and she did the same.

He looked at the woman in front of him and had to remind himself they were taking things slow. He felt himself begin to harden as he took in the sight in front of him. Not tonight, damn it. You can hold out a little longer. As long as she needs, control yourself, he thought as he took a deep breath as his eyes moved up to meet hers.

“Come back here,” she said smiling and pulled his mouth back to hers.

His hand returned to her breast and he continued to caress it as he nibbled on her lip. She ran her nails down his back as he moved his mouth down her neck. When his mouth found her breast she called him softly.

He looked up and could see in her eyes, that she was done for the night. “You’re the boss baby,” he said giving her a gentle kiss, letting his breathing return to normal.

“Thank you,” she said as he backed off of her.

“Lemme just get your shirt,” he said looking around the bed.

“Leave it off, the doors shut,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he said settling him beside to her, laying on his side so he could look at her.

“Good night, Jon,” she said turning on her side leaning back into him.

“Night, Mel,” Jon said as he draped his arm over her stomach giving her a kiss on the cheek.

They laid together for a couple of minutes as Melissa ran her fingers over Jon’s arm before she spoke. “Jon, are you still awake?”

“Yeah,” he grumbled close to sleep.

“Tomorrow everything changes when we go back to real life. I’m gonna miss this, what we did this weekend,” she said thinking aloud.

“Me too baby,” he said.

“Night, Jon,” she said hearing the sleep in his voice.

“Night,” he said.

Within a couple of minutes his breathing evened and Melissa heard a light snore. It’s been one hell of a fairy tale, I love him, and he loves me. This all seems like a crazy dream. This better not be a dream, she thought as she finally drifted off to sleep.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Chapter 51

“Hey, Dad, can you drive me in like a half hour,” Steph called from the hallway before she went in Jon’s room. “Dad, not really what I needed to see,” she said looking at Jon and Melissa still fast asleep in bed.

Jon woke with a start and looked at his daughter through groggy eyes. “What’s the matter Steph?”

“Sorry, you left the door open, I thought you were awake,” she said keeping her eyes focused on the wall in front of her.

“It’s ok, what do you need,” he asked.

“Can you drive me in like a half hour or should I get a ride,” she asked again.

“Where am I driving you?”

“To Uncle Matt and Aunt Deisree’s, don’t you remember? You said you could drive me,” she said.

“What are you doing over there?”

“Dad,” she said with a hint of an attitude.

“I’m half asleep Steph, humor me,” he said sitting and wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Come over here, I don’t want you to wake her up.”

Steph walked over to him with her arms crossed. “I told Aunt Desiree I could watch Bella for the afternoon so her and Uncle Matt could go to lunch together and get some last minute shopping done.”

“Was that your idea or hers,” Jon asked.

“It was a collaborative effort. But I need to be there in like 25 minutes so we have to leave soon. Aunt Desiree said she could send Uncle Matt to pick me up if you couldn’t drive me, should I call her,” she asked.

“Do you mind if Matt gets you? I forgot all about it sweetheart, I’m sorry,” Jon asked knowing he had a lot he needed to take care of while she was gone.

“No it’s fine, I’ll go call her. I’ll say goodbye before I leave. I can’t wait until I can drive,” she said leaving.

“You’ve got another 15 years before you can do that,” he said smiling.

“Oh, Dad, you can be so dramatic. I get my permit in like seven months,” she said.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that. You can tell Matt I can pick you up later or he can drop you off when he comes over,” Jon said.

“He’s coming over,” she asked.

“Giants are on at 8,” he answered.

“Is Jesse coming over too,” she asked.

“Not that I know of,” he said.

“Oh, ok good,” she said walking towards the door.

“I love you, Steph.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

“Hey, Steph, can you do me a favor,” he asked.

“Sure.”

“Can you shut the door so Richie doesn’t follow you in,” Jon asked.

“Bye, Dad,” she said shutting the door securely.

Jon sat and watched Melissa while she slept; even in her sleep she looked exhausted. After a few minutes he noticed her breathing become short and ragged and she started to whimper in her sleep. Jon rubbed her arm gently hoping to wake her and called her name softly. She awoke with a jump and her eyes flew open as she gasped for breath. She sat up trying to catch her breath and flinched when Jon put his hand on her back.

“I’m sorry, I forgot where I was,” she said.

“Are you ok,” he asked.

“Fine,” she said quickly.

“Please don’t do that to me,” he said.

“What are you talking about,” she asked.

“Don’t shut me out, just talk to me. Let me know what you’re thinking,” he said.

“How can you say that I’m shutting you out? After everything, how could you think that,” she asked as she fought back tears.

Before Jon could answer there was a knock at the door. “Damn it, Richie, the fucking door’s shut for a reason,” he yelled.

“Its me, Dad,” Steph answered.

“Sorry, Steph, what’s up,” he asked as Melissa walked with deliberate steps to the bathroom shutting the door behind her.

“Uncle Matt’s here, so I’m leaving,” she said.

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later, Steph,” he answered.

“Bye, Dad,” she said.

Jon took a minute to control the famous Bongiovi temper before he knocked on the bathroom door. “Melissa?”

She opened the door about a foot so she could see him but made no effort to allow him in. “What, Jon?”

“We need to talk, but can we go downstairs and get some coffee before we do or say something one of us is going to regret,” he asked.

“I’ll be down in a couple of minutes,” she said closing the door quietly.

Jon walked downstairs to the kitchen where he was grateful to see a pot of coffee already made. Richie left a note next to the pot. Morning Sleepyheads. I’m going out to do some work in the studio, you probably won’t see me for a while. Left you some coffee I thought you could use it. Steph told me she’s going over to Matt’s; use the time to talk to each other. I’m not letting either of you outta the house until you do. –Richie

Jon poured two mugs of coffee as he read Richie’s note. Thank God for Richie, he thought. He grabbed the nearby phone and dialed his brother’s number as he waited for Melissa.

“Hey, Jon. So nice of you to wake up this morning,” Matt said.

“Are you still with Steph,” Jon asked.

“No why? Me and Des are just leaving now,” Matt answered.

“Was she ok? I mean did she say anything to you in the car,” Jon asked.

“She seemed fine, is everything ok,” Matt asked.

“Yeah it’s fine. It’s been a crazy couple of days that’s all. And I yelled at her by accident before she left, I thought she was Richie,” Jon said.

“I get them confused all the time,” Matt teased.

“The door was shut, how was I supposed to know who it was,” Jon snapped.

“Hey, take it easy. She seemed fine to me. Are you ok,” Matt asked.

“Fine, there’s just some stuff I’ve gotta take care of,” Jon said.

“All right, I’ll be over later, you can tell me all about it,” Matt said.

“What time are you coming,” Jon asked.

“You tell me. We can just wing it depending on how long me and Des are out,” Matt offered.

“That’s fine. I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later,” Jon said hanging up the phone.

“How exactly were you planning on taking care of this,” Melissa asked coolly from the doorway.

“How long have you been standing there,” he asked.

“Long enough,” she answered.

“That was my brother by the way. I don’t know who you think it was,” he said offering her a mug of coffee.

“That still didn’t answer my question. What do you mean ‘there’s some stuff I’ve gotta take care of,’” she asked.

“Us, we’ve gotta figure something out. Actually we need to figure a lot out. I need you to talk to me,” Jon said.

“What are you insinuating,” she asked.

“Baby, I don’t want you to get defensive on me, just talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling and thinking. I know you talk to Richie about this stuff, and only because he’s as loyal as they come, he tells me nothing. I love you and I’m worried about you, and it frustrates me that you won’t come to me with your worries and problems,” he said.

“You don’t want me talking to Richie,” she asked.

“No, that’s not what I said. I just don’t know why you’ll talk to him and not to me,” Jon said.

“He’s my sounding board, and he knows you better than anyone,” she said.

“But he’s not me.”

“I know.”

“What is it then? Why do you pick him over me?”

“Because I’m afraid.”

“Afraid? Afraid of what? Me,” he asked.

“Yes. I mean no, well, kinda,” she answered.

“You’re afraid of me,” he asked in disbelief.

“This is why I didn’t say anything. Do we have to do this now,” she asked.

Jon walked over to her and held her hands. “Please talk to me.”

“Jon,” she said quietly.

“Baby, I’m one step short of begging you,” he said.

“Ok,” she said quietly.

“Will you sit,” he asked gesturing to the kitchen table.

She nodded and sat down across the table from him. She took a minute to gather her thoughts to attempt to explain herself to him. “I love you, I love you so much that it scares me. This idea of you and me scares the crap outta me.”

“Baby I know, but I’m not like everyone else,” Jon said.

“No, not like that. God this is hard. I’m not afraid of Jon, I’m afraid of the idea of you. Not the idea, more like what you represent. The whole boyfriend thing has me wanting to run for the hills, but it has nothing to do with you. I don’t know how to be around you. That’s why I’ve been going to Richie, because he’s my friend and I know how to do friends. But that’s not saying that I want anything to change with us, I just don’t know how to be. It scares me that I’ll do something wrong and I’ll lose you. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve been perfectly happy being independent for so long and now I don’t know how I’m supposed to be,” she said.

“Don’t think about it that much. I want to be your friend who you can talk to about anything. I want to be the one that you come to when you’re upset or scared or happy. But I also want to connect with you on a deeper level that’s more than friends. I think we have that going Melissa,” he said.

“I just don’t want to say the wrong thing,” she said.

“You will, more than once. But so will I. Its bound to happen eventually,” he said.

“I have a real hard time giving up control you know,” she said.

“I know, me too,” he answered. “I just need to know that you trust me enough to come to me with your problems and you wont shut me out.”

“I do trust you. I cant make any promises but I can try,” she said.

“That’s all I could ask for,” he said.

She pushed her chair back and walked over to the coffee pot to refill her mug. “We’re good now right,” she asked.

Jon followed her across the kitchen. “Baby, please tell me that you don’t mean that,” he said quietly.

“I was hoping,” she said refilling his mug.

“You were hoping to not to talk to me,” he asked.

“I was hoping to not to have to talk about last night. That’s what you mean, what you want to talk about,” she asked.

“We have to. Baby, if we can’t talk about this now, we’re doomed,” he said.

“I know, that’s what Richie said,” she said noticing him wince at Richie’s name. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, talk to me,” he said.

“Can we sit,” she asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said leading her by the small of her back to the adjacent family room.

She sat on the couch and pulled her legs under her as he sat next to her. “Can I tell you something that I told Richie last night? I mean it has nothing to do with what happened, but I want you to know,” she said.

“Of course,” he said feeling a breakthrough.

“I told him that you, well us, are driving me crazy because three months ago I was a ridiculously independent woman. I was strong willed, I always had a hold on my emotions. But now it seems that I’m always a blubbering mess and I’ve become ridiculously insecure, and I’ve got you to thank for it,” she said.

“Me? What did I do,” he asked nervously.

“Nothing bad. I just fell in love, and I let you in. And evidentially because emotions are involved I have a hard time controlling them. But you did change me, you let me love again. I didn’t think I’d be able to do that. Angela says there’s something else that’s different too, something good,” she said.

“She told me the same thing,” he said.

“When?”

“Philly, after you got into it with Dorothea. But baby I love you just the way you were when I met you. I never meant to change you,” he said.

“I know, it just happens. I am so thankful that you showed me how to love,” she said.

“Thank you for telling me. That’s all I want,” he said.

“I said I can try. This is me trying,” she said.

He leaned in a kissed her softly. “Melissa, what happened last night,” he asked gently. She looked away from him, staring out the window. Shame and embarrassment clear on her face. “Hey, its just me. Tell me what happened.”

“You were there you know what happened,” she said simply.

“What happened with you? Start from the beginning, please,” he encouraged.

“Yesterday when you were out with Richie, you were drinking, a lot. I could taste it on you. He said you drank almost a whole bottle,” she said.

“If you tasted it, how come you didn’t ask me,” he asked.

“Because I thought that you were drinking because of me. That I had frustrated you, or something so much that you downed a bottle of wine, and I hated that,” she said.

“Baby, I like to drink, even the fan part of you knows that,” he said.

“Its stupid I know, but I didn’t want to be the person that made you drink,” she said.

“Its not stupid that you care about me. Next time just ask me, its not like I’ve never heard that question before. What does that have to do with last night,” he asked.

“I thought that you were mad at me or frustrated about what happened and that we hadn’t had sex yet and everything. And that I or we didn’t know when we would,” she said taking a breath.

“Melissa, I could never be mad at you for that,” he started.

“Please let me get this out. I thought you were upset and I didn’t want to lose you and I thought that if we had sex it would make everything better. I tried, I tried so hard. I wanted to let you do what you needed to do. I figured if I showed you that I was ok with it you could just, I dunno. But I couldn’t,” she said.

“Listen to me, I’m not going anywhere just because were not sleeping together. And I’m not gonna do anything that you don’t want to do. And if I just used you for sex, even though you didn’t want it, I’d be no better then the pig that raped you,” he said.

“You really mean that don’t you,” she said.

“With all my heart. And if I did something to make you think other wise I am so sorry,” he said.

“I just felt so bad that I let you start but not finish. I wanted to but I just couldn’t let you, I don’t know why,” she said.

“Because you didn’t want to. I don’t want you to worry about me or what I need or what you think I need,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be sorry. What happened this morning,” he asked.

“It was just a dream,” she said quietly.

“Melissa.”

“It was just because I went to be upset and a little stressed when I went to sleep. It was nothing really,” she said.

“If it was nothing then you can tell me,” he said.

“It was a flashback, to that night. It happens every once in a while, don’t worry about it,” she said.

“I do worry, because I love you and I hate to see you scared like you were when you woke up. Have you ever talked to anyone about,” he asked.

“What do you mean,” she asked.

“Professionally? If things like that are still happening I mean,” he said.

“No. I’ve only told a couple of people. You, Ang, Tommy, and Richie. That’s it,” she said.

“Ok, I was just asking. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea,” he offered.

“What are you trying to say,” she asked.

“Nothing, Baby, I’m just worried about you, that’s all. I want you to be happy,” he said.

“How did I get so lucky,” she asked.

“I’ve been asking myself the same thing,” he said.

“There’s something else though. I can see it in your eyes,” she said.

“I don’t want what happened last night to happen again. I want to know that you can tell me what your comfortable with,” he said.

“I don’t know, something a little less then what we did last night,” she said.

“Are you gonna tell me to stop if I tell you to do something you’re not ok with,” he asked.

“Yes, I just should’ve said it sooner last night,” she said.

“Ok, I’ve gotta trust you here as much as you trust me. And look on the bright side we get to experiment as we figure it out,” he said smiling.

“Jon, just remember I’m not a virgin, but it’s been a really long time for me. I was 19 when I broke up with Joe, so what’s that nine years? And we were just a bunch of kids fooling around,” she said.

“You think and worry way too much. When we get there, I’ll take care of you. I’ll treat you like a queen,” he said.

She smiled at him. “So where is everyone today? It’s so quiet in here,” she asked.

“Richie is out in the studio, he even left us directions not to leave the house until we talked. He should be around eventually. And Steph is over at Matt’s; she’s babysitting because they have some stuff to take care of before the baby comes. He’ll be over later to watch the game maybe for dinner. We don’t really have a plan,” Jon said.

“So we’ve got the house to ourselves for a couple hours,” she asked.

“That we do, you got something in mind,” he asked.

“Just to sit here with you and watch tv,” she said smiling grabbing the remote.

“Sounds like a perfect afternoon,” he said.

“Do you mind if I stay here tonight,” she asked.

“Of course not, why do you ask,” he said.

“We’ve got the funeral to go to tomorrow. I thought it would be nice if we went together,” she said.

“Yeah we’ll go together,” he said. I almost forgot about that. How could I forget? Has it only been two days since she came back? It seems like so much longer. And this time I’m not letting her go, no matter what, he thought. He looked over at her as she flipped through the channels on his tv. God she looks good here, she looks right at home.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Chapter 50

A few hours, and a few glasses of wine, later Melissa found herself searching through Richie’s closet for something to wear. It seemed that over the years a number of Richie’s “lady friends” had left a wide variety of clothes. Even though they had all been cleaned, it still seemed a little weird for her to borrow any of them, though the though of another night in Jon’s too big pajamas wasn’t something she necessarily looked forward to. And the idea of getting into bed with him in any of Steph’s clothes was more than uncomfortable for all involved.

“Richie, I dunno, this is a little weird,” Melissa said staring at the clothes.

“Hey, what ever you want is fine, but I have a closet full of clothes that never get used,” he said.

“You know I think you could open a store. You’d make a fortune,” Melissa said taking a pair of cotton shorts and a tank from a shelf.

“You think,” he asked from the bed.

“Absolutely! Can I borrow these,” she asked holding up her latest findings.

“Not those shorts. That’s what I was planning to wear to bed tonight,” Richie teased.

“You can be such a smart ass you know that,” she said.

“I know,” he said smiling.

“Can I change in here quick,” she asked.

“What ever you’d like,” Richie said.

“Could you just,” Melissa gestured with her hand for him to turn around.

“Yes ma’am,” he said turning around. Melissa quickly changed out of her jeans and into the more comfortable clothes. “Are you better than you we’re before?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just know you were upset, and I’ve come to worry about you like my little sister,” Richie said.

“Whatever, I think I know how to make it all work now,” she said slipping the shirt over her head.

“Oh yeah?”

“You can turn around now, thanks,” she said.

“You said you figured it out,” he asked looking at her in her mismatched clothes.

“Yup, I can’t lose him again, so I came up with a plan,” she said.

“Care to share it,” he asked skeptically.

“Nope, not now. I should get to bed though before he falls asleep before I get back,” she said.

“Ok, you know I’m here anytime if you need me. I’ll warn you I sleep like a bear, but don’t let that stop you, just hit me harder,” he said smiling.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said.

“Night darlin’,” he said pulling her into a hug and giving her a kiss on the head.

“Night, Richie, I’ll see you in the morning,” she said before she left his room and wondered back to Jon.

She walked down the hall, saying goodnight to Steph on the way, before she reached his bedroom. She securely shut the door behind her and watched him sitting on the bench at the end of the bed.

“You’re right, you do look much better in women’s clothes than mine, that are too big for you,” he said.

“Told ya,” she said walking over to him. She stopped in front of him for a second before she straddled him.

“What are you doing, Mel,” Jon asked as she ran her hands through his hair.

“I’m just showing you how much I missed you, and how grateful I am to have found someone to love, and someone to love me back,” she whispered in his ear as she planted a row of kisses down his neck.

“Melissa,” he started.

“Shh, don’t say anything,” she said kissing his lips.

She pushed him back so he was leaning against the bed and deepened her kiss. She let her hands explore his chest down to his stomach. She slid her hands under his shirt and lifted it up and over his head before tossing it on the ground.

“Baby, what are you doing,” he asked quietly.

“Shh,” she said as she traced the outlines of his muscles with her fingers.

He let out a soft moan as he closed his eyes and she could feel him harden under her. She backed off of him as fear flashed in her eyes. She took a breath as her pulse quickened and climbed back on the bed.

“Come here,” she said kneeling in the middle. He did as she asked and sat in front of her. She took a breath as they locked eyes and her breathing quickened. “I want you to touch me.”

“What?”

“I want you to touch me. I want to feel your hands on me,” she said.

“You want me to lay my hands on you,” he said smiling at his own joke.

She didn’t answer, she took his hands in hers and put them on her shoulders. “Melissa, listen you don’t have to do this,” he said softly seeing the uneasiness in her eyes.

“Please,” she said barely above a whisper.

Jon slowly started moving his hands through her hair as she relaxed a little and closed her eyes. He moved a stray hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. He ran his fingers down the side of her face before they met at her mouth. She sat there, afraid to move, unsure what to do as her senses went into overdrive. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. And his touch. What was it about his touch? His fingers were so rough at the tips, musician’s hands for sure, but so gentle at the same time.

“Look at me, Baby, open your eyes,” Jon said.

She looked at him, his eyes bright and welcoming. Jon searched her eyes and face looking for an explanation. Instead he found the look of a terrified woman full of apprehension. “Mel, you don’t have to do this,” he said.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she said.

Part of Jon knew it was probably the wrong thing, the other part of him, the part of him that was a selfish man with needs, gave into her. He put his hand behind her head and pulled her into a kiss. He nibbled on her bottom lip as he kissed, causing her to moan into his mouth, fueling his fire.

He leaned her back into the bed as he pulled his lips away from hers. He moved to her ear sweeping down to her collarbone leaving a trail of nips and kisses. Melissa locked eyes with him taking his hand in hers. She moved it to where his last kiss still lingered on her skin. Slowly she moved his hand over her breast and she moved his fingers to cup it completely.

Jon looked at her, his eyes darker than she’d ever seen before; they hardly even looked blue. His eyes nearly begged for her permission.

“I trust you,” she said.

He flashed her a boyish grin and set to work caressing her breasts. He used his hands until her nipples hardened leaving her whimpering for more. Slowly Jon moved his mouth over her breast letting his mouth warm her, giving little nips through the material. She let out another low moan as her took her nipple in his mouth. He lapped and sucked at it leaving it swollen and her shirt soaked.

She stopped him before he moved to the other side and moved his hands down her stomach to the bottom of her shirt. She slid his hands under the shirt and left them there to discover on their own. He rubbed her stomach enjoying and savoring the warmth of her body. He took the bottom of the shirt in his hands. “May I,” he asked. She nodded and he slipped it over her head and threw it behind him.

Jon stopped and looked over her before her touched her. It had been so long since he had a woman, in his bed, like this. Never before had a woman looked so flawless in his life. He looked from one glorious peak to the other, almost at a loss of what to do.

He moved his hand up her stomach stopping first at her left breast. He saw her close her eyes as he felt her skin without a barrier between them. His hand kept the already swollen nipple hardened while his mouth ravaged the other. When that one was as swollen as the first Jon moved his way back to her mouth. He slipped his tongue into her mouth as he left his hand gently cupping her breast. She dug her fingers into his hair as she deepened the kiss further.

He let his hand lazily stray down her stomach and stopped at the band of her shorts. He slid his fingers under until he could feel the lace of her panties. He let out a guttural moan as he felt the heat pulsing from her core. As his fingers inched lower he felt her hands fall from his hair and her tongue leave his.

He opened his eyes slowly as he pulled back from their kiss. He saw her chest heaving with ragged breathing and noticed a tear slide from her closed eyes. He used his hand to wipe the tear away as he moved back. “Melissa,” he asked quietly controlling his animal-like impulses.

“I’m sorry,” she said letting another tear escape her still tightly closed eyes.

“It’s ok, I’m right here,” he said.

“I can’t do this, I’m so sorry. I wanted to let you,” she said as her voice trailed off.

“Open your eyes for me, please,” he asked softly.

She shook her head no. She was far too embarrassed and afraid of the look she would find on his face.

“Baby, this is your call 100%. I’m moving at your pace. I’m gonna give you a minute, are you gonna be ok if I leave you a minute,” he asked.

“Can you stay,” she asked sitting up and opening her eyes.

“Of course.”

“Will you just hold me,” she asked still avoiding his gaze.

“Come here,” he said pulling her close to him.

She let herself collapse against his chest, her breasts, still swollen and aroused, almost pained by his coarse fur. He held her in his arms for a few minutes stroking her hair. “You ok now,” he asked.

“I think so, I’m sorry,” she said pulling back. Feeling self-conscious of her body she crossed her arms over her chest continuing to evade his eyes.

Noticing her embarrassment he grabbed a throw blanked from behind him and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Don’t worry about that. Do you mind if I take a quick shower,” he asked. An ice cold shower.

“Go I’ll be fine,” she said as he kissed her head before leaving.

She sat in the middle of his bed, feeling lost and confused. A thousand emotions overcame her. Shame. Incompetence. Fear. Embarrassment. Anger. Frustration. Anxiety. Regret. You name it; it was going through her head. She saw a glass on the nightstand and threw it across the room in frustration unable to control her emotions. Fresh tears stained her face as the glass shattered against the wall. He heard the glass breaking but thought it was best to leave her to her thoughts. I’ll clean it up later, now I need a shower.

Melissa tightened the blanket around her trying to form cohesive thoughts. I’m not leaving. Not again. I just need space. Somewhere to clear my head. God was that a stupid thing to do. What the hell was I thinking? She left his room and walked down the hall, pacing in front of Richie’s room. She waited a few minutes before she finally decided to knock. She called his name, but when there was no answer she opened the door slightly.

“Richie,” she called again.

“Mel, is that you,” she heard a voice call.

“Yeah, it’s me, can I come in,” she asked.

“Come on in, I’ll be out in a sec,” he called. She stood in the middle of the room waiting for him to appear from the bathroom. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting, just keeping the pearly whites, well white,” he said smiling but stopped when he saw her. “Are you ok?”

“I did something stupid, really, really stupid,” she said trying to hold back tears, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

“Are you cold? Do you want me to turn the heat up,” he asked gesturing to the thermostat.

“No.”

“Do you wanna sit,” he asked moving towards the loveseat.

“Yeah, ok.”

“What happened? What’s got you so upset,” he asked.

“I know he said this morning that it wasn’t all about sex for him, he said all of the right words. I just couldn’t believe it though. And then he went out drinking with you, I hated knowing that I did that to him,” she said.

“Hey, the wine thing has you all upset? He likes wine, a lot. So he drank almost a whole bottle instead of half a bottle, big deal. These last two days have been hell on both of you. But nothing you did or said is turning him into an alcoholic by any means,” he said.

“Richie, I dunno.”

“What did you do, Melissa,” he asked.

“He wanted sex, so I tried to give it to him. I thought it would be easy. If I could just get him started, I could let him do what he needed,” she said.

“Melissa, that is so the wrong way to look at this. Sex is more than physical, I’m sure he told you that, and he’s right. And I never want to hear that you just let him use your body. You are so much better than that,” he said.

“I just wanted him to be happy. It doesn’t matter, I couldn’t do it anyway,” she said pulling the blanket tighter.

“What do you mean you couldn’t do it,” he asked gently.

“I just wanted him to do it, he got close but I couldn’t. I just reached a point where I couldn’t let him keep going,” she said wiping a tear away.

“So you two didn’t,” he asked trying to piece everything together.

“Not all the way.”

Richie chose his words carefully not wanting to embarrass her. “Did you finish what he started on your own?” She gave him a terrified look and shook her head no. “Did you think about it? It might calm you down a little. You’re adrenaline and endorphins are racing, if you ya know finish, it may make you feel better. Or not, its up to you. Just a suggestion.”

“That’s the furthest thing from my mind right now,” she said.

“Ok, don’t listen to me, it happens all the time. Before you go tomorrow you two need to talk. About what happened tonight, about sex, and boundaries. You two are so close to being on the same exact page you just need to talk it out. If you lose communication now you guys are gonna be in for a rough future together,” he said.

“Is he really?”

“Absolutely. Have I lied to you,” he asked.

“No.”

“Then why would I start now? He loves you and you love him. And you both just want the other to be happy. You’ve just gotta figure out how to do that. You guys will come up with something,” Richie said.

“Can I ask you something,” she said.

“Anything.”

“Why am I such an emotional mess? I swear I’ve never been like this in all my life,” she said.

Richie smiled. “That’s because you love him, and you’re letting him love you. You took down all those walls you’ve held up for so long. You let yourself feel for real, and there are very real emotions that come with that. You’ll get used to it, its not all bad.”

“What would I do without you?”

“You know I ask myself that all the time. I look at myself as an integral part of so many people’s lives. Without my infinite wisdom I think the world would be a little slower,” he teased.

“So I didn’t screw everything up,” she asked.

“Nope, just proves my point a little more. The two of you have got to talk, to each other not just me,” Richie said.

“Ok.”

“And don’t be afraid of him. He’ s just a man, nothing to get too excited about. It’ll probably be a little harder to talk to him then me, because you love him, but don’t let that stop you. Honesty is what’s gonna get you through this,” he said.

“This isn’t gonna be easy is it,” she asked.

“Some days will be easier than others, but true love takes some work. That just makes the rewards that much sweeter,” he answered.

“Thanks Richie, I should get back. He should be sleeping by now,” she said standing.

“Hold on a second, you want some new clothes too. Why don’t you go take a quick shower, get the sex off of you. A cold one should do the trick. I’ll bring some clothes in for you,” he offered.

“How do you always know what to do,” she asked.

“I know women, remember?”

“That you do,” she said as she went to the bathroom.

A cold shower helped calm her mind among other things, and she welcomed a fresh pair of clothes. Anything that he hadn’t touched. She dressed quickly and said goodnight to Richie again before walking back to Jon. Richie watched her from his doorway as she stopped for a minute outside Jon’s door to ensure that he was asleep before she finally entered.

He left the lamp on her side of the bed on for her and she noticed a note on her pillow. I’m sorry. I love you. Jon. She moved it to the nightstand as she turned out the light. She got into his bed and let herself lean back into his chest. The fears she had earlier seemed to drift away as she fell asleep in his arms.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Chapter 49

They sat together a while longer curled into each other. Words seemed unnecessary as they embraced and reflected on the bond they cemented that came from the trust associated with full disclosure.

After an hour or so Jon noticed the clock on the far wall, “Hey, Mel?”

“Yeah baby,” she said running her hands over his.

“I would love to stay like this all day, but we should probably get dressed at some point. And I’m sure I could probably use a shower too,” he said.

“How is it that when I’m with you time just seems to disappear,” she asked noticing the time.

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” he said giving her cheek a kiss from behind.

“Lets go,” she said getting off the couch.

“Lead the way,” he said standing next to her.

She turned to him to face him with tears brimming in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said searching his eyes. “Thank you for listening, for caring, for, for everything.”

He pulled her into a hug, “That’s what people do for someone they love,” he said.

She pulled back a little to look at him, “I love you, Jon.”

“I love you too, Melissa,” he said.

She smiled, “Come on, let’s get up stairs before we’re eating dinner in our pajamas.”

“You got it,” he said leading her out of the room and down the hall.

At the base of the stairs Melissa caught a flash of sunlight from the room next to her. “What’s in here,” she said walking over to the door.

“That, I think, is one room you’re really gonna like. Go ahead, go in,” he said.

Melissa opened the door and saw what looked like yet another formal living room, but this one had instruments scattered throughout the room. There was a piano in front of a bay window, a few guitar cases strewn around and notepads on most of the flat surfaces. “Is this where all the magic happens,” she asked.

“The magic,” he asked laughing. “This is where some of the writing happens. I can write pretty much anywhere, the car, the kitchen table, a hotel room, a plane. You name it I’ve written part of something there. But this is where the whole music to lyrics thing has been happening.”

Melissa looked around in awe. “Never in a million years did I think I’d ever get to see this.”

“Well now you can anytime you want,” he said as she walked around the room taking everything in.

She ran her fingers over the top of the piano, “Jon will you do something for me?”

“Anything,” he answered.

“I like the sound of that. Will you play something for me?”

“You really want me to,” he asked.

“Please,” she said turning to him.

“Who am I to deny a beautiful woman?”

He sat down on the bench and pulled her down next to him. “What do you want me to play,” he asked.

“Surprise me.”

He thought for a minute and then, using only his index finger, started to play Row, Row, Row Your Boat. “Like it,” he asked with a smirk.

“Nice try smart ass,” she said.

“How about this,” he said starting to play Bed of Roses.

“Perfect,” she said giving him a gentle kiss as she watched his fingers effortlessly dance over the keys. After a few measures Jon started to sing with the music, and she leaned over and put her finger to his lips. “Just play, please? There’s something so much more sensual about it that way,” she said and Jon complied.

“That was perfect,” she said as he played the final notes.

“Thank you. I think I’m gonna like you as an audience,” he said smiling.

“Good, because I think I like these private shows,” she said giving him a soft kiss.

“Oh, before I forget, Amalia said she’d start a load of laundry with your stuff in it and she said she’d leave me directions on how to use the drier if you wanted your own clothes,” Jon said.

“Wait, what did you say? She’d leave you directions for what,” Melissa asked.

“The drier, so your clothes would be dry,” he answered.

“You need directions on how to use a drier?”

“It’s never something I’ve had to figure out how to do,” he said.

“Come on it’s not that hard, I’m sure you can manage how to figure it out,” she teased.

“Are you making fun of me,” he asked.

“Never,” she said smiling.

“Come on, upstairs before you find something else to mock,” he said. He led her up to the laundry room where sure enough there was a note with step-by-step directions.

“Don’t even look at that it’s common sense,” she said. “First take the wet clothes outta the washer and put them in the drier. That will make them dry.”

“You don’t have to be mean about it,” he said following her directions.

“Take that and pull it out and wipe off all the lint,” she directed.

“And,” he asked.

“Throw it out,” she said gently. “Now add a drier sheet from up there, to make the clothes soft.”

“And just throw it in,” he asked.

“Yup, now check the settings. They look good, just hit start,” she said.

“That’s it,” he asked.

“Yes Mr. Bon Jovi, you have just done your first load of laundry. I’ll alert the press,” she teased.

“I think you’ve had more than enough fun at my expense, come on,” he said taking her hand and taking her back to his bedroom.

“I’m just gonna take a quick shower, but help yourself to whatever you want while your clothes dry,” he said walking to the bathroom.

Melissa set to work looking through his drawers for a pair of sweat pants that didn’t fall off of her. Eventually she found a well-worn pair that fit her a little better than the rest and grabbed a nearby shirt. She dressed and climbed back onto the bed and reached for her phone on the nightstand. She saw a half dozen missed calls from Richie, Angela and Tommy, and a dozen or so text messages. She started to read through them when Jon, dressed only in a towel, hung low on his hips, came back into the room.

“So you found something that fit,” he asked heading to the closet around the corner.

“I don’t know if it fits, but it fits better for sure,” she answered.

“You know I’m sure Steph wouldn’t mind if you borrowed something of hers,” Jon offered as he looked for a pair of jeans.

“I can’t just borrow something without asking. Its part of the girl code,” she answered.

“Hey I meant to ask if you wanted to stay tonight,” he called.

“I dunno babe, I’d love to but I’ve gotta check a couple of things out first,” she said as his cell phone vibrated on the bed. “Baby, Richie’s calling do you want me to get it?”

“Go ahead,” he called.

“Hey, Richie,” she answered.

“Melissa? You’re still there?”

“Yeah I’m still here,” she answered.

“I’m glad. How are you,” Richie asked.

“I’m ok, I didn’t think I would be, but I am,” she answered honestly as Jon listened to her candidness.

“You told him then,” Richie asked.

“Everything, I think it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do,” she said.

“It was the right thing you know, for so many reasons.”

“I know, but that didn’t make it any easier. I’m scared,” she said.

“I know darlin’ but things are gonna get better now,” he reassured her.

“God I hope so. Don’t mind me babbling on over here, why did you call?”

“Just to check up on you guys, see how everything went. I know we were supposed to record today but I called Shanks and canceled thought you too could use some time together, but I wanted to see if I could do some work anyway in the studio.”

“Before I forget I owe you a huge apology,” she said.

“For what?”

“I know Jon kicked you out, I am so sorry. I never meant to cause anything between you two, I felt horrible when I heard,” she said.

“Hey, I’m an adult, I made my own decisions. I promised you I wouldn’t tell him, so I didn’t. Gotta learn to trust me darlin’, I’ve got your back. Besides it’s a lot more relaxed over at Dave’s there’s not nearly as many rules when April’s got the kids.”

“Still, I’m so sorry.”

”No worries, I didn’t even think twice about it.”

“You sure,” she asked.

“Positive. But is Jon around, can I talk to him for a second?”

“Yeah, he’s around here somewhere, he disappeared around the corner in a towel,” she said. “Baby,” she called.

“You better be calling me that not Richie,” he called.

“Of course I’m talkin’ to you. Richie wants to talk to you a second,” she said.

Jon came back into view in jeans drying his hair with a towel. “Thanks baby,” he said.

“Do you mind if I have a little bit of time to myself? I have a couple calls to make, in private if I could? I’ve gotta call Angela and Lindsay’s family,” she said still holding the phone.

“What ever you need,” he answered.

“Thanks,” she said giving him a kiss then handing him the phone.

“Hey, Rich,” Jon said taking the phone.

“Hey, I know you probably can’t talk, but if everything is good with you work the word bed into your sentence,” Richie said.

“You never cease to amaze me. Yes we’re in the bedroom,” Jon answered as he looked for a shirt.

“That’s close enough for me. Listen I was gonna see if I could do some studio work but if you wanted to talk instead you know that’s what I’m here for,” Richie said.

“You know that sounds like a good idea,” Jon said.

“I’m about to pull you in the driveway, I’ll meet you at the pub?”

“Awesome,” Jon said hanging up the phone. “Since you’ve got some stuff to take care of I’m gonna go out with Richie for a little while.”

“You don’t have to leave,” she said.

“I’m supposed to be working today, but a beautiful woman’s been distracting me. I have my cell when you’re done,” Jon said.

“I’ll call you in a bit,” she said.

“Help yourself to whatever,” he said giving her a kiss before leaving her in the middle of his bed.

Jon left her with her thoughts as he made his way outside. He didn’t know what to think about anything really and was looking forward to being able to bounce his thoughts off of someone. Jon walked out to the bar and saw Richie grabbing a beer from behind the counter. “You don’t mind do you,” Richie asked holding a bottle.

“No take it. Grab me a bottle too,” Jon said having a seat at the counter.

Richie grabbed a bottle of wine and joined Jon. “You wanna talk about it,” he asked handing Jon the bottle.

“Shit man, I don’t even know where to start,” Jon said taking the corkscrew off the bar.

“You guys are gonna be ok, you just need some time,” Richie said.

“I don’t even know what to think. I was so happy when I saw her yesterday; it was like everything was ok again. But now, I just don’t know what to do,” Jon said taking a swig from the bottle.

“Do you feel any differently about her right now, than you did when you woke up,” Richie asked.

“Of course not,” Jon said.

“And you still love her,” he asked as Jon nodded. “Then I really don’t see a problem. You love her and she loves you.”

“I just don’t know how to be with her,” Jon said.

“Don’t you fucking do this. Don’t make this about you, not after all she went through. This is about both of you, the sacrifice that she made for you. I didn’t think you could be such a selfish ass,” Richie said, his voice rising with each word.

“Not like that, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You better not,” Richie scowled.

“I just don’t know how to help her.”

“Don’t try to fix her, that’s the last thing she needs. Just love her,” Richie said.

“I don’t know how. I don’t know what she needs, or what she needs me to be,” Jon said at a loss.

“What she needs is you to be the man that she fell in love with and nothing else,” Richie said firmly.

“I meant what I said, I don’t know how to be with her. What to do with her without making her feel uncomfortable. And what I can do so that she doesn’t feel that I don’t want her,” Jon said.

“That’s between the two of you. I’m here if you need me, but those are boundaries that you have to establish with each other,” Richie said.

“I just don’t want to her to push me away or the other way around,” Jon said.

“That’s why communication has to be the key,” Richie said.

“When did you become the voice of reason,” Jon asked.

“What are you talking about? I’ve always been the voice of reason you just never listened to me before,” Richie teased.

“Thanks,” Jon said.

“That’s what brothers are for. Does this mean I can move back,” Richie asked.

“Dave’s isn’t what its all cracked up to be?”

“Well he doesn’t have as many rules as you do when April has the kids. But that means that him and Lex are all lovey dovey. There’s only so much a guy can take,” Richie said.

“Your suite’s all yours,” Jon said.

Having known Jon more than half of his life he knew that was as close to an apology as he was gonna get. “Awesome, besides your sheets are nicer than Dave’s.”

***

Melissa made her way down the upstairs hall as she heard the front door open. “Baby is that you,” she called.

“No, Melissa, its Steph,” the voice floated up the stairs.

“Sorry, I thought you were you’re dad. Aren’t you home early,” Melissa asked.

“We went to an early movie,” Steph said from the bottom of the stairs.

“Was it good? I was thinking of seeing it,” Melissa asked as she made her way down the stairs.

“It was ok, nothing great. Where’s my dad,” Steph asked.

“He’s with Richie, they’ve been gone a bit, I thought they were heading in,” Melissa said.

“One thing you’ll be quick to learn is never to believe them when they give you a timetable when they’re working,” Steph said.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Melissa said. “Do you have a minute? Can I talk to you?”

“Sure, I can take this up later,” Steph said dropping her overnight bag.

“I still don’t know my way around, so you lead the way,” Melissa said smiling.

“We can go right in here,” Steph said gesturing to the door that they had left open earlier. She sat down on the couch and moved a notepad from the cushion. “I don’t know how but these seem to multiply everyday. Was there something specific you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah, and if its ok with you I’d like to talk to you as an adult, not just Jon’s daughter, like a kid,” Melissa said.

“Really, why?”

“Because I think that you’ve proved yourself to be quite intuitive and it would be an insult to your intelligence if I treated you like a child,” Melissa said.

“Thank you,” Steph said quietly.

“You know your dad and I are dating and I wanna keep the line of communication open between us. If you ever need to talk about something your dad wouldn’t get or you want another opinion, you know you can always ask me. With that being said I wanted to talk to you about your dad and I and feel free to tell me if it’s a little TMI,” Melissa said.

“Uh-oh.”

“Come on its nothing bad. I just want to make it perfectly clear to you that I don’t want to do anything to make you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable, especially here. This is your home, and I am just a guest. Now you’re dad asked me to stay here tonight but I told him that I would think about it. I don’t want you to be weirded out in your own house. My mom dated a little but when I lived at home so I kinda get it,” Melissa said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, my mom raised my sister and I because my dad left when I was really little,” Melissa said.

“I didn’t know that,” Steph said.

“It was a crazy house with the three of us,” Melissa said smiling.

“I bet, with three brothers I’m always outnumbered,” Steph said.

“But your dad has a special place for you apart from the boys,” Melissa said.

“I know. And as far as you and my dad, I try not to think about it, ever. I have three little brothers so I know what it means when the door is shut,” Steph said.

“Are you sure, because if you didn’t want to see me in the morning or anything like that, I’d understand, just let me know,” Melissa said.

“Hey as long as you’re both decent when you leave the bedroom and you keep your PDA PG-13 when I’m in the room, it’s a million times better than at my mom’s,” Steph said.

“I know there’s a bunch of bad blood there and I’m not asking for the details. I don’t want this just to be better than your mom’s, I want it to be perfectly comfortable for you. And I’ll respect your comfort zone, I just need to know what that it,” Melissa said.

“My dad’s pretty good with that kinda stuff. Except sometimes they didn’t always shut the door all the way and my rooms right next to his. I’ve heard some things I probably shouldn’t have over the years,” Steph said squinting her face.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Melissa said.

“Thanks.”

“You know before this gets any more uncomfortable why don’t we go see if we can find your dad and Richie,” Melissa said.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Steph said standing. “You know it’s nice to have a woman to talk to that doesn’t work for my dad.”

“You’re dad’s not good with the girl stuff? I kinda always imagined that he would be. I mean he was married forever,” Melissa said following her to the door.

“He tries, but I think tampons and stuff still make him a little embarrassed in the grocery store,” Steph said laughing.

“Really,” Melissa asked laughing as they entered the foyer.

“It’s a sight to see,” Steph said as the door opened and Richie and Jon entered.

“What’s so funny,” Jon asked.

Melissa and Steph looked at each other and continued laughing until Melissa composed herself enough to answer. “Oh nothin’ we’ve just been talking about you.”

“Better watch it Jon, it sounds like they’re having a lot of fun at your expense,” Richie teased.

Ignoring him, Jon turned to his daughter, “When did you get home?”

“A little while ago. Me and Melissa were just gonna look for you,” Steph answered.

“But you beat us to it,” Melissa said.

“Perfect timing. Are you two ready for dinner,” Jon asked.

“I’m starving,” Steph said.

“Lets go check out the take out menus,” Jon said.

“That sounds like my cue to leave,” Richie said.

“Absolutely not. Stay for dinner,” Melissa asked.

“Are you sure I wont be crashing your night,” Richie asked looking first to Melissa then Jon.

“We really didn’t have any plans. If you want to stay you’re welcome too,” Jon said.

“As long as you don’t mind,” Richie said.

“Not at all,” Jon said.

“But no takeout, you’re gonna make something,” Melissa said.

“Like what,” Jon asked.

“I dunno, why don’t you two go pick something out,” Melissa said.

“Come on kiddo, lets see if we can find something French for your dad to make. The harder the better,” Richie said putting his arm around Steph’s shoulders.

Once they were out of view Melissa leaned in a kissed Jon deeply. When they broke apart Jon searched her eyes for an explanation. “What was that for,” he asked.

“Because I can,” she answered with a smile. “And if the offer still stands, I’d love to stay here tonight.”

“Of course it still stands. You’ve got an open invitation. Did you do everything that you needed to take care of?”

“Yeah. There’s a memorial service Monday afternoon and the funeral is Tuesday. They left me their home number for you and asked me to ask you to call them,” Melissa said.

“I’ll do it as soon as I get dinner started. I hear I’m cooking,” he said.

“Yes you are. This is a big day of firsts for you. First the laundry, now dinner,” she teased.

“You’re merciless,” he said.

“Damn right,” she said leading them to the kitchen.

“Its about damn time, I was afraid you weren’t up to the challenge that is Velveeta mac and cheese,” Richie said holding a box.

“Hand it over,” Jon said reading the directions.

“Where did Steph go, Richie,” Melissa asked looking around.

“To put her stuff away,” Richie answered.

Jon took out a pot, filled it with water and put it on the stove. “This has to boil,” he said confidently. “I’m gonna go make that phone call, do you have the number?”

Melissa took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him. “I’ll hold the fort down while you’re gone,” she said with a kiss.

Once Jon was gone Richie looked at Melissa who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. “Mel, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok,” she said.

“Come here,” he said opening his arms and pulling her into a strong hug.

“Richie, I don’t know how to thank you for everything. You’ve been such a good friend to me,” she said.

“Darlin’ that’s what friends do, I’m just glad to see you happy again and the two of you together,” Richie answered.

“Me too, on both accounts,” Melissa said stepping back.

“There’s still something bothering you though,” Richie prompted.

“He was drinking wasn’t he?”

“Jon? Why do you ask,” Richie asked.

“I could taste it, don’t lie to me,” Melissa said.

“Red wine,” Richie answered.

“How much?”

“Why does it matter, Mel? I don’t know where you’re going with this,” Richie said.

“Please Richie, how much?”

“The better part of a bottle,” he said softly.

“Its because of me isn’t it,” she asked.

She didn’t wait to hear his answer, her mind was made up. I can’t do anything right with him. I leave and I break his heart, I come back and I drive him right into a bottle. What the hell am I supposed to do?