Chapter 18

“Is this ok here?” Jon asked stopping a couple of feet down the beach from the house.

“Sure this looks fine,” Melissa said and took a seat. “Before I start I need you to promise me that you’ll just let me get out what I need, ok?”

“Absolutely, this is your story to tell,” Jon said turning in the sand to face her.

“Thank you. First I have to say that I meant what I said last night, about how your music has healed me. You’ve even saved my life more than once, I don’t know if you’ll ever know to what extent. And that’s why I even thought about going out with you at all, because I wanted to see if Jon the man was as amazing as I had made him out to be. And you exceeded every expectation.

“For this to all make sense I should start from the beginning. I think I told you last night, I have an older sister Michelle. We were never close growing up, but that was ok. We banded together when we needed to, that was enough for me. When I was really little my parents were still married but my dad took off when I was four or maybe five. I don’t remember him, only what my sister would tell me. She said he would hit my mom, my mom never talked about him. I think part of her was always hurt because of how he treated her. He never hurt my sister or me, and I was so little I didn’t know what was going on. But that initial strong male figure was never in my life. This is gonna sound really stupid, I know. But when you guys really made it big around Slippery I guess, my mom totally fell for you guys. And all of you were kinda like how my mom told me or showed me that there were good men, somewhere. Your music, even though it went over my head as a seven year old, kinda showed me that not everyone, well every man, was a bad guy. My mamma raised me on your music as you could tell by all the tours that we went on together. That I think was the first time that you really kinda changed my life.

“Then in high school I started dating this guy, Joe. I thought he was a million percent the love of my life. We even went to NYU together. He was my first everything, my first love, my first kiss, the first guy I slept with. But my mom warned me to be careful, guard my hear a little and he would eventually break my heart. He was cheating on me, and I fell to pieces. We were together over three years, which from high school is like eternal. It was the summer before my sophomore year and I was still hurting when classes started again. And this sounds cheesy but your music and love songs gave me hope, ya know that I’ll find love again. I was only 19 after all. And I was home for the summer and my mamma said, ‘Mel, not all men are cheating pigs. Jon’s been with his wife since high school and he’s in his 30’s now. You’ll find your special guy.’

“But I should go back to my first day that I moved into college. I was dorming in SoHo, for the first time I wasn’t at home. And back then I had a really strong personality, I’ve mellowed out since then. Things were my way or no way. And as I’m sure you’ve noticed Angela is still the same way. We butted heads at first, I almost moved home. It was a horrible first week. I remember I was in our room by myself writing a paper one afternoon when Angela was in class. I had the New Jersey CD blaring from my CD player. I heard her come in and slam the door. I thought she was gonna yell at the music. ‘What do you think you’re listening to?’ she asked. I told her ‘I’m listening to Bon Jovi if you don’t like it you can leave. Jon’s not going off.’ And that was it we clicked. Me and Angela probably wouldn’t have lasted another two days if it wasn’t for that CD. And the Crush tour we took off together to as many shows as we could.

“But back to sophomore year, shortly after I broke up with Joe, I started dating another guy in the fall, Ben. We were together for about 5 months or so before we split. In my life until that time, it was the absolute worst time. That was right before Crush came out and I was so drawn to “Its my life”. It was an anthem of sort for me. For me it was a song about taking control of my life, and hanging in there. It helped me start to heal, but I kinda wrote off dating, and focused on my education. I had Tommy and Angela and the three of us were all we needed.” Tears started to flow down her cheeks as she recalled these memories. She didn’t look at Jon; she was in another place looking out into the ocean as she spoke.

“I was a pre-law and business major. I was set to graduate with honors in May of 2001. May 7^th. My mom was so proud that I was graduating. My sister went to college, but more as a thing to do after high school so she could meet someone and get married. Which she eventually did, she was engaged to be married that October. But everything started March of that year. I’m sorry you’re probably so confused,” Melissa finally turned to look at him. There was something in his eyes that was comforting.

He reached over and wiped a tear away, but he immediately pulled back, “I’m sorry.” The last thing he wanted to do was overstep a boundary.

“No, no its ok. I’ve never told anyone all this before. I think Angela and Tommy are the only people who really know everything, and they lived through it all. Am I totally confusing you?”

“No, I think I’ve got it. You really don’t have to tell me all this. I can see it’s hard,” Jon said. There was something so alive about her that made it even harder to see her this upset.

There’s something more, Jon thought, something she’s not telling me. It’s not my business to pry. I wonder if she knows that this is only making her all the more irresistible. The pain she’s felt, and the strength she must have. This is one I’m not letting get away.

“No, I’ve started I may as well finish what I started,” she stopped and took a deep breath. He leaned over again and wiped the tears from her face. It felt surprisingly comforting for him to touch her like that in such a gentle way.

“Now like I said, it all started in March of my senior year. I had a lot of schoolwork I was doing. I had two 70 page senior theses to write, a 30-page paper for the honors program, and a couple of classes to finish up. I was spending a majority of my life in the library, like close to 25 hours a week. It was therapeutic for me to be busy with school, so I didn’t mind. My mom got sick towards the end of March; she had this chest cold that she couldn’t shake. It would get better for a week or so and then come back. I never went out to take care of her because I was so busy and she assured me she was fine. That is my biggest regret, not going out to be with her. It was about the second week of April that my mom went into the hospital, and I was less than a month from graduating. My sister was busy planning her wedding. I went out to be with her as much as I could, I wish it was more. She ended up dying of pneumonia a week before I graduated. She was my one person that had always been there for me, the only person really. By some miracle I got through that week, and I graduated. It was all bittersweet because she wasn’t there to see me do it.

“At that time you were on tour, it was One Wild Night. My mom had gotten me tickets for graduation. You were playing in DC six days after. That night may have been harder than the funeral was. It was the first show I went to that my mom didn’t go to. That’s when it really hit me. Angela offered to go down with me, but I told her I’d be fine. I got to my seat about 20 minutes before you went on, I remember standing when the lights went out. But that was really it, I don’t remember what you started with but it sent me over an edge. I was on the floor like 5 rows back, but I just sat down and sobbed for a good three hours, and by the time the lights came back on I felt slightly better. I sat there grieving in the midst of 20,000 people.” Melissa felt his hand on her cheek again, but didn’t turn to look at him.

“My sister went crazy over her wedding, refusing to grieve and shut me out in the process. That summer Angela came and lived with me in my mom’s house. In the fall I started school again, to get my law degree back at NYU, and Angela started working as a nurse at Hackensack. I sold the house around the same time and Angela moved into what is my apartment now, and I got a place in the city. Michelle got married in October and left for Seattle when she got back from her honeymoon. I think that was a turning point for me. My entire family was gone, and all I had were my two friends, and I accepted that. I had been hurt so much I refused to open my inner circle any further. I became career driven and that got me through the next four years of school. In 2004 I graduated and began working at a law firm in the city, and my niece was born around the same time. I soon figured out that I hated my career, I was a divorce lawyer. It was all such petty things, it seemed meaningless to me.

“I quit my job that October. It was hard because in my mind I was throwing away what my mom had worked so hard to pay for. It was the last thing she gave me. That’s when I moved in with Angela, and basically went on tour with you. I think it was something like over 30 shows. I needed to get my head on and figure out what I was going to do with my life, as I slowly drained my bank account. You guys were in Europe for a month or so and that’s when I decided that while I’d love to, I couldn’t do this forever. I had been volunteering at the hospital with Angela to give me something to do, and they offered me a job. It was basically a paper-pushing job because of my business degree. But I needed something so I took it so long as I didn’t have to start until after the tour was over.

“Everything was soon starting to fit into place. I had a job, and I loved the kind of work I was doing. I finally felt like I was doing something that was making a difference in someone’s life. I wanted to work more with the kids, so I went to night school for about a year, to get my certification to interact with the children professionally.”

She finally turned to look at him. “That is basically the story of Melissa Blake. I’ve been through a lot, and I come with some baggage, but it’s the honest truth. If I’m gonna get involved in something that’s how I do it. And if you think this is too much for you, than thank you for at least letting me explain myself. I think last night I just scared myself for letting myself feel so comfortable with you, so soon.”

His blue eyes looked back at her full of warmth and understanding. “Thank you for feeling that you could trust me. And while we’re being honest I think it’s my turn to disclose.”

Melissa looked deep into his eyes, and she saw some hurt creep into them. “You talk about baggage, but I’ve got my own. I’ve got four kids, 15, 13, 6 and 4. I have a huge house that no longer feels like home because my family isn’t there. I have an ex-wife, who is spiteful and possessive. I don’t know what you read or know, but we didn’t end on the perfect terms that have been publicized. It got ugly; she was actually seeing someone while I was on the HAND tour. Our marriage was finished way before that anyway. At least a good year, but we always said we tried for the kids. When she finally gave me the papers, it was a relief to me to be honest. While we were going through the whole process, she got really spiteful trying to make it out that it was my fault, when I never cheated on her. Not even in the end. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t all perfect, but she held me responsible for everything, which wasn’t fair, it was a 50-50 thing. It was hard when she moved out because we’ve been together since as long as I could remember.

“This summer was tough for me with the tour ending, and four kids going four different ways, trying to get into any sort of schedule was impossible. Especially when Dot didn’t make it easy for me. The truth is I wasn’t the only one having a hard time with the summer. My daughter Stephanie is my oldest. She had a rough time with everything; she was always a daddy’s girl. I could only think about telling you this because you were so honest with me, which is inspiring. She’s actually moving in with me, well today when I get home. So there you have it. I have a teenage daughter that’s more than a bit possessive of me, a controlling and sometimes down right selfish ex-wife, and three boys, talk about baggage,” Jon said with a smile.

“Between the two of us it seems like we’ve covered it all,” Melissa said laughing.

“There it is, that beautiful smile I haven’t seen all morning.” Jon said.

Melissa blushed at the compliment. “So what does this mean? Are we too broken to be together and see where this goes, or is it just enough baggage?”

“Well you know what they say,” Jon said with a twinkle in his eye.

“No, what do they say?”

Jon laughed, and sang, “It's okay to be a little broken, Everybody's broken in this life, It's okay to feel a little broken, Everybody's broken, You’re alright, it’s alright
It’s just life.”

Melissa laughed as he sang. “I’m taking that as a yes?”

“I’m in if you’re in,” Jon said.

“Then I’m in, if you’re in,” Melissa answered.

Jon stood and offered his hand to help her up. “Let’s go tell them the good news. I’m sure they’ll be happy.”

Melissa nodded and asked, “So if you’re going back tonight when am I gonna see you?”

“How about Wednesday, how does around 11:30 or noon sound?” Jon asked.

“Oh, I can’t I’m working,” Melissa answered, “And I have to go in since I took the end of this week off.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. So 11:30 then at the hospital. And if you’re too busy to entertain me, I can’t wait to get back and see the kids.”

“You know you never cease to amaze me,” Melissa said smiling.

“It’s a date then?” Jon asked.

“It’s a date,” Melissa said grabbing his hand, and holding it tight.